New Body

I’m celebrating.

Just a little bit.

In two weeks, I’ve lost 10 pounds.

I’d call that a successful diet.

And the weight loss is well deserved, since I’ve given up chewing, flavor, and booze.

Last week I was a little miffed that I only lost 2.2 pounds.

Then again, I did eat a grilled cheese sandwich and cream of artichoke/green chili soup.

This week I cheated by sipping two gin and tonics while eating some roast beef and spinach dip on a slice of sourdough bread.

Bad Michelle!

Despite the 10 pound weight loss, I don’t really see a difference in my body.

My guess is that I will need to lose 20 pounds before I start seeing a difference.

We can start with the double chin and move on to the tummy.

But PLEASE, leave the boobs alone!

I still have a LONG WAY to go.

Like 90 – 120 more pounds.

It hardly seems possible that I could lose that much weight.

That’s like an ENTIRE person’s worth of weight!

My friend, The Photographer, has been really supportive of my weight loss.

At a time when I feel undesirable and frumpy, he has reminded me that I am a sexy, beautiful woman.

So I’m just going to hold on to that as I try to squeeze my feet into shoes that don’t fit and shave parts of my body which are hidden from view.

Cross your fingers and say a prayer that the weight keeps coming off.

I’m really excited to reveal a new body!

0 for 2

Oy, are my dating skills OFF.

This week I tried to schedule two dates.

Date #1 was with a sexy photographer.

Yes, I know.

Despite my wariness of photographers, I agreed to a date.

First, he got the date wrong.

Then he cancelled.

Ok fine.

Maybe this is the universe trying to tell me something:


At least I wont have to worry about him pointing a camera at me while trying to talk me out of my clothes.

And THEN. . .

I set up a date with a welder.

I was hesitant (again) but he seemed awfully nice until SUDDENLY he wasn’t all that nice.

He asked me which one of my pictures was the most recent.

All my pics are recent (within a year).

So I told him: They were all taken within the last year. Does it matter?

And he replied: Just curious.

Then he tacked on a wee little commentary: Sheesh.

Just curious. Sheesh.

And that was it.

The straw that broke the camel’s back.

Here I am trying to make a connection with someone and he’s giving me attitude.

This does not bode well.

And so it was that 15 minutes after I scheduled a date with a welder, I cancelled the date.

Perhaps I was a little rough on him.

Maybe I should have been more understanding.

But I was on the fence with him as it was and he just pushed me over to the other side.

I mean come on!

What am I? A piece of meat that’s being inspected or a person with feelings and emotions who needs to be valued as a whole person and not just a picture taken within the last year.



Putting it all in perspective

By and large I had a sucky burn.

Oh sure, there were a few magical moments, but what is sticking with me now is the humiliation. The extreme exclusion. The rejection.

Now, The Photographer has had a few things to say about this. And given that he’s been to more burns than I have, I’m inclined to rely on his expertise.

When I commented that my burn sucked, he replied, “Don’t say that… just say it was rough for you.”

I can see why this approach would work.

My burn wasn’t all bad. I did some things. Explored some art. Met some awesome people.

If I can’t remember my burn in good terms does that mean that I should completely negate all the wonderful people and things that did happen to me?

Of course not.

  • I went to Scotchfest. Yes, I was all by myself but it was fun and I got to talk to a lot of people and share my knowledge of scotch with them.
  • I saw The Man during a dust storm with The Ranger.

the man

  • I got my breasts painted by The Ranger for Critical Tits (which never happened because it was too dusty out).
  • I gifted chapsticks to a couple of kids in desperate need of chapstick out on the playa.
  • I got to go to the Temple with Tejas and write on the walls for my children, living and deceased. It was a moment of memory.
  • I hung out at Ali Bar Bar and had a good time meeting new people like The Photographer.
  • My first glimpse of R-Evolution was breathtaking.
  • I enjoyed lazing around Center Camp with The Ranger and drinking lemonade while a dust storm raged outside.
  • I got a good spanking from Tejas at Retro Frolic and I had an amusing time getting my Cock Sucker certification.

IMG_7721 FullSizeRender(2)

  • I got washed at the Human Carcass Wash. Woot for public nudity!
  • I sat in on Lisa’s Red Hot Education lectures and learned more about flirtation, orgasm, the clitoris and neurotransmitters.
  • I got to see Jyl’s beautiful, sexy costumes.

Yes, I got dumped. Yes, I was ignored and marginalized by someone who purported to love me.

But perhaps all that will fade with time and the happy memories will shine through.

As The Photographer wisely put it, “You may not have had the best burn ever. Maybe you are meant to have gotten only what you needed out of it. And the rest will all make sense later.”

And maybe he’s right.

Maybe I got EXACTLY what I needed out of this.