Exciting Developments

There have been a couple of exciting developments in the last few days.

First of all, Tejas bought a 3-wheel electric scooter.

I’m totally stoked that he decided to get one because it means he can get around easier in places like the Pagan Bunny Burn, unSCruz, and Burning Man.

At least he’ll be able to move around at festivals until his knees get fixed.

I hated the idea of him getting stuck in camp because he couldn’t walk to other locations.

Let’s hear it for electric scooters!

Even if they’re made by Harley.


Aside from the OBVIOUS reasons I’m excited he’s coming, I simply can’t wait to see HIS MIND GET BLOWN AWAY by all the art, creativity, community, and interactivity that is Burning Man.


This development means that I have to plan Burning Man COMLETELY different than I have in past years.

For one, I have to procure another playa bike for The Swede.

For two, it looks like I’ll be cooking for three people, not two.

And another thing – I may have to sleep in the little bed in Tejas’ RV and give the big bed over the cab to The Swede.

Finally, I may have to assist The Swede in getting outfits for Burning Man.

He’s not really the “outfit” type but my guess is that when he gets to Burning Man and sees the self-expression that is featured at Burning Man, he’ll wish he had a tutu.

Or a kilt.

Or graphic leggings.


We also have to figure out how to light him up at night.

So there’s that too.

There’s all sorts of acculturization that goes into a trip to Burning Man and with him being remote from me, planning is going to be a challenge.

Nevertheless, it’s GOING TO BE FUN!

One thing is for sure. . .

. . .we’re gonna need A LOT OF SUNBLOCK!!

Growing up

I’ve had no dates since returning from Sweden.

It’s not that I’m consciously trying to be loyal to The Swede.

It’s because I simply can’t stomach the quality of men I meet online.

Did you know that one man thanked me for moving my beer on the first date because (as he put it), he “could see my tits better without the glass in the way?”

Mind you, I have behaved no better.

I’m no “holier than thou” woman.


I sent dirty pictures.

I wore low cut dresses.

And I flirted with the best of them.

In the end, online dating is not any way to make a connection with somebody.

Although, I did meet The Swede on Tinder.

Go figure.

One in a fucking billion.

And I had to import him from ANOTHER COUNTRY!

You’d think, given my inclinations, that I’d be missing all those dates, and sexting, and flirtations.

But you’d be wrong.

I’m not missing it ONE BIT.

Maybe it’s because I can skype The Swede whenever I want.

But also?

It’s because I can TEXT The Swede whenever I want.


Maybe he’s a big part of why I’m happy, but he’s not the ONLY reason I’m happy.

I’ve got a hundred other reasons to be happy starting with my boys.

I guess this is growing up.

Over The Moon

I turned d­­­­own a date today.

Not because it didn’t sound great.

It sounded very nice.

And not because I don’t find the guy attractive.

Actually, he’s at the far end of the handsome scale.

I know!

What was I thinking?

Well, I’ll tell you.

I was thinking of The Swede.

I was thinking how much I want to make him coffee in the morning.

And roll over in bed to see his face.

And I was thinking about how much I miss hugging him.

And kissing him.

There’s a whole lot of things I miss about The Swede.

How quiet he is until you get to know him.

How dedicated he is to his children.

How much of a prankster he is.

And so, for the first time EVER, I’m finally admitting I am OVER THE MOON for The Swede.


Homage to Sweden

I’m sure you all know by now that I had a FABULOUS time in Sweden.

Even in the winter, Stockholm and the surrounding areas were beautiful and inviting.

I must say, I loved it so much I hope to go back.

And it goes without saying that I’ll get to see The Swede if I head over again.

Not even the 12-hour plane light can deter me from going.


You know I’m a planner.

I actually bought a pair of bikini bottoms from Globalkinis with the Swedish flag on them for my trip to Sweden.

I imagined The Swede discovering them in the middle of fooling around.


But they didn’t arrive before I left for Sweden.

Sad face.

But now, The Swede might be coming for unSCruz.

Perhaps, if we’re lucky, even Burning Man.

And I’m pretty sure that the bikini bottom will go GREAT with my Swedish flag burnout tank top.

Even if he doesn’t make it, I still might wear the set.

You know, as my homage to Sweden (and The Swede).


The Bay Area is filled with engineers, on account of all the tech companies that set up shop in Silicon Valley.

When I was online dating, my bread and butter dates were usually engineers.

Indeed, my best friend is an engineer himself.

I greatly admire engineers, although I usually can’t even begin to grasp what they do for a living.


Something to do with customer technical account management.

The Swede?

Cloud computing.

My brother?

Augmented reality.

For someone who is decidedly right-brained, I’m impressed that I can even tell you that much.

Personally, I want to wind up with a left-brained person, to balance me out.

Someone grounded and logical.

Good at math and finances.

However, he also needs to be open to other-worldly experiences like Burning Man and regional burns.

I’m quite certain there are men who exist who match this criteria.

I meet TONS of men at Burning Man who have left-brained jobs in the Default World but who are also creative and open-minded.

Does The Swede fit my idea of an ideal man?

Well, I’ve never seen him balance his checkbook, but I did see him get dressed up at unSCruz.

And I’m pretty sure he enjoyed himself.

So I’d say he’s an excellent candidate.

Plus, I like him.

I may not understand what he does for a living, but I certainly like the stabilizing force he brings to my life.

Hopefully, he appreciates the little bit of chaos I introduce into his life. . .




Crash and burn

Out of the blue I got a message from someone I met on Tinder a year ago.

“Where in the world are you?” he asked.

Odd question.

“At work,” I replied.

“I was in Denmark a few weeks ago and you popped up on Tinder. It said you were only a few hundred miles away,” he queried.

“Oh, I was in Sweden visiting friends,” I told him.

He then asked me to come back so that I could go skiing with him in Austria or Switzerland.


I don’t ski.

Never learned and I think it’s a skill best learned when you’re younger and fearless.

I told him as much.

Well lo-and-behold he used to be a ski instructor at Squaw Valley in the winter. He can teach me to ski.

No thanks, I can passably snowboard.


The last time I snowboarded I broke my tailbone.

“So you don’t want to come boarding with me? We can hit the slopes during the day and explore other activities in the evening.. . .” he hinted.

“No thanks,” I replied.

“I’ll leave you alone then,” he responded.


Sorry but this girl only travels halfway around the world to meet her Swede, not some random dude I exchanged a few text messages with on Tinder a year ago.

Momma didn’t raise no fool.

American girlfriend

Okay, I’m just gonna come out and say it.

I miss Sweden.

The candies.

The chocolate.

The shopping.

The company.

It’s been almost a month since I got back and I’m thinking a summer trip to Sweden may be in store for me.

I’d love to see Sweden in the summer when it’s warm and green.

And when the sun stays out longer than 5 hours a day.

There’s much I didn’t see or do in Sweden.

Check out the ABBA Museum.

Take a boat ride on the Stockholm archipelago.

Go on a road trip up the coast.

See The Swede again.

Especially see The Swede again.

It looks like he will be taking a trip to the East Coast in April and I’m supposed to join him there to check out hockey teams and colleges for his daughter.

Big, impressive colleges!

And then there is some sort of hockey tournament in Florida.

I’ve never been to Florida.

It could be a lot of fun to join them on their voyages.

The other day I joked that The Swede was spending so much time in America he was going to become an American.

He replied with a happy GIF.

Which makes me think, perhaps The Swede wouldn’t mind starting off with an American girlfriend.

You never know. . .

Living like a nun

Since my return from Sweden, I’ve been living like a nun.

Even though my vow of celibacy is no longer in place, I’m still not getting any.

Reason #1: I like The Swede and he’s not here.

Reason #2: I sort of consider myself in a transition state right now on my diet.

And I consider “transition phases” inappropriate for dating.

Plus, the last thing I want is to be sipping my low-cal tomato soup while out on a date.

So here I am.

Single yet happy.

To tell the truth I’ve got a lot going on BESIDES my diet that is keeping me occupied.

UnSCruz planning – I’m helping to organize volunteers.

South Bay Burners Regional Precompression aka SoulFire – I’m trying to resurrect this event with guidance from some friends.

Burning Man 2018 – can’t miss That Thing In The Desert.

Pagan Bunny Burn – my very first! Can’t wait!

I mean, I’m not going to turn down any dates that pop up, but I’m also not actively cultivating anything.

Which, remarkably, doesn’t bother me.

All of which is to say that despite my fuller than full physique, I’m pretty damn happy.

So I can’t complain!

Challenges for Burning Man 2018

Each year, I try to find a way to challenge myself at Burning Man.

In 2015, my goal was just to complete the week of activities and enjoy myself.

In 2016, my goal was to improve upon my activities from the previous year and be more interactive.

In 2017, I took on a leadership role and my goal was to be successful as an ambassador for our village.

I’ve done other things along the way.

Work on an art car, paint an altar, etc.

So this year I’m thinking of challenging myself by working on an art project.

Like a genuine, built-from-the-ground-up art project.

There are a couple of projects I have my eye on.

But nothing I’m sure about.

As a side note, I’d like to bring The Swede to Burning Man this year.

I think he’s open to the idea of going and would likely have a good time.

For two Scorpios, we’re pretty fucking mellow and I think we’d do well in the desert together for a week.

Between the two of us, I’m the more experimental one and he’s the steady and solid one so it would be interesting to see how he reacts to activities like Saunadome, Human Carcass Wash, and more.

I’d like to see him get all saucer-eyed watching the entertainment at Hair of the Dog, Spanky’s Wine Bar, or the Slut Olympics.

Hopefully, over the next month or so I’ll get a grip on both these items – The Swede coming to Burning Man and my challenge for 2018.

More to come!

Care Package

I’m putting together a care package for The Swede and his daughter.

I took back so much deliciousness from Sweden, it only seems fair to share my California with them.

But what to get?

Fucking Ghost Pepper Nuts!

And Caroline Reaper Jerky!

You know, just to say “thanks for destroying my taste buds when you fed me that spicy chocolate truffle.”

It’s my way of returning the favor.

Of course Tejas contributed to the package with his Ghost Pepper Infused Salt.


Nothing says “you’re special” like a third degree burn to the lips.

Am I right?

I jest.

And I got Sriracha sauce just because MAYBE they don’t have it in Sweden and who doesn’t LOVE Sriracha sauce?

But seriously, I also picked up some Dayquil/Nyquil for them since it’s not available in Sweden.

Hopefully it will slip by customs.

And then there’s a small but select pile of makeup and skin care products for The Swede’s daughter.

Because I have NO IDEA what else to get her.

And finally, I picked up some SWEDISH FISH for them.

Because they have FISH CANDY in Sweden, but not SWEDISH FISH.

A box of that will remedy the situation.

So whaddya think?

Is it a good care package?