La Tomatina

tomatinaOnce upon a time, I imagined that I would like to experience La Tomatina in Bunol, Spain.

But rather than going all the way to Spain, I chose to participate in the Tomato Royale at the Alameda County Fairgrounds in Pleasanton.

Exotic, I know.

I was dating Luke at the time and he and I hooked up with two guys who in turn hooked up with two girls and we drank beer non-stop until just a few minutes before tomato throwing time.

Then, the two guys pushed their way to the front of the gates and we followed.  We were some of the first people to hit those tomatoes and discover that. . .

. . . THEY WERE ROTTEN.

Yeah, we were standing in a pile of hot, stinking, rotting tomatoes.

tomatoesI grabbed a handful, crushed them, and launched them at my boyfriend.

He proceeded to drip them over my head.

I reminded myself to keep my mouth closed.

Ew!  Yuck!

Remarkably, if the tomatoes weren’t crushed, they were rather hard and it felt like getting hit in the head with a baseball.

Ouch!

I quickly tired of the sport and decided to go clean up with a hose.

Best part of the day:  Taking a shower outdoors with that hose.

2nd best part of the day:  getting asked by the two guys and two girls if we wanted to “hook up” with them in their hotel room.

Orgy!

We said no.  But it was a nice invite!

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Rotten Tomatoes

A few years ago, I decided that I wanted to do La Tomatina in Bunol, Spain. But before I spent thousands of dollars in travel expenses, I wanted to give it a dry run at Tomato Royale in the Alameda County Fairgrounds.

So one summer morning, I bounded out of bed, ready for the experience of a lifetime – a tomato fight with a thousand of my closest friends and my (then) boyfriend Luke.

We were told to show up around 11 am. Unbeknownst to us, the event didn’t start until 3 pm. So we had nothing to do for tour hours but sit around and wait. And drink. And wait. And drink some more.

After many hours of this, we’d made good enough friends with two other daring couples that they invited to their hotel room after the Tomato Royale for a post-tomato orgy, I mean soiree.

We pushed to the front of the line. The gates opened and we rushed the pile of tomatoes.

It was as I was grabbing a fistful of tomatoes that I realized that ALL THE TOMATOES WERE ROTTEN!

Not sure why I expected them to be otherwise, but I did.

They were also hot from sitting in the sun all day. And stinky. And despite their rottenness, exceptionally hard – which matters when they’re BEING THROWN AT YOUR HEAD AT 70 MILES PER HOUR.

Before I knew it, my goggles were coated in tomato puree. So was I, with bits and pieces of tomatoes clinging to me here and there.

Five minutes into it, a rotten tomato hit me in the mouth. I can’t even explain the grossness that ensued but suffice to say it involved gagging and a little bit of crying.

Ten minutes into it, I lost a shoe.

But it wasn’t until I got pelted in the temple with a 90 mile and hour tomato fastball that I decided to call it quits.

“You ready to go?” I asked Luke. He nodded.

Now I’ll admit, there was something fun about the Tomato Royale. Gross, but fun.

 

But the BEST part of the day was taking a hose to myself in the middle of the Alameda County Fairgrounds and TAKING A SHOWER IN PUBIC.

Once in a lifetime experience my friends, once in a lifetime.

Horny beasts

I’m about to run around with a bunch of horny beasts.

No, I’m not talking about a progressive with Sigma Alpha Epsilon (the reigning fraternity when I was at UCSB).

I’m talking about real horned beasts.

Yes, I am participating in the Great Bull Run at the Alameda County Fairgrounds TOMORROW.

And I’m totally excited.

Following the Bull Run is the Tomato Royale – basically a big food fight where you get to fling rotten tomatoes at everyone. Keep that mouth closed! Yum.

I’m especially excited because my cousin Jennifer and a friend will be there too. Running with the bulls. And throwing tomatoes on me.

What could be a better way to spend and afternoon?

Wait… don’t answer that.