So I’m going on a lot of first dates, a few second dates, and virtually no one has stuck.
Ironically, I’ve made more friends on Tinder than lovers and it’s just a testament to my stubbornness that I’m online AT ALL!
Gradually, over time I’ve begun to question the wisdom of blogging my dates with men on this site.
I mean, exactly how many men want to be preceded by their “reputation” when dating me?
I think it’s clear to me that the answer is NO ONE.
And so it is with tremendous thought and self-reflection that I’ve decided to slow down my blogging and eliminate my dating life from my daily journals.
I’m sure it comes with GREAT SATISFACTION to some of my friends who have been advocating for this for years.
The Photographer is one such advocate, who has told me every chance he gets to SLOW DOWN BLOGGING MEN!
Michelle is another friend who supports the “less is more” movement on unblunder.
Needless to say I’m a little nervous about having enough content to post every day.
My quilting and costuming posts are never as popular as my dating posts.
But that’s something I can live with if it creates a little space for someone to actually enter my life, without judgment or prejudice, and enjoy my company for a little while.
Also, it’s okay if I’m not glued to my computer dreaming up blog posts that are only read by a thousand people.
I’ve got a life.
It’s time to live it instead of constantly writing about things I want to do and men I occasionally date.
I’ve been blogging on unblunder for about 15 years.
First on my own without a platform, then on this WordPress site.
When the blog began, I was in Law School and the blog existed to write about all the things I was going to do to walk the straight and narrow.
Then I dropped out of Law School.
And instead of recording all the PERFECT things I was doing to turn my life into EXACTLY what was expected of me, I started to record all the crazy, fun, and imperfect moments of my life.
The adventures – like racing stock cars, running with the bulls, and going to Burning Man.
If you’ve met me in person, you know I’m fairly quiet.
I tend to be reserved until I am comfortable with the people I am with.
It takes time for me to adjust and I’m not ashamed to say I can be a little shy.
I observe, like any good writer, and I catalog all the things I find amusing or sad.
Anything worthy of sharing gets typed into my phone for later use on the blog.
Once, I was asked by someone I BARELY knew to not write about her in my blog.
My inner voice said, “Just don’t do anything interesting.”
I obeyed, unless you count the fact that I’ve now blogged our conversation at least three times.
My point is, most everyone is a censor.
Of course, they don’t think of it that way, but it’s censorship plain and simple.
And yet I still manage to write about my life, my adventures, and my stories.
The other day, my girlfriend and I were sitting around having coffee on her back porch in the morning sun and she mentioned that I’m typically very quiet but she knows me better than that.
My inner voice is a comedienne.
Some people don’t like this blog.
They think it’s trashy and vulgar. . .
To which I say:
OF COURSE IT’S TRASHY AND VULGAR.
It is, by and large, escapist writing for me.
Try to remember the details of my life:
I live with my blind father, my mother who has a heart condition, and two teenage sons who BARELY speak to me.
I’m in need of some lightheartedness and escapism.
So pardon my lack of substance on my blog.
This blog isn’t for everyone.
It was never meant to be a one-size-fits-all blog.
I have found over the years some people gravitate toward my sense of humor while others are put off by it.
And that’s okay.
But I do get compliments on my blog all the time.
The most frequent one I hear is that reading my blog is a guilty pleasure.
Which I LOVE!
So let the weirdos, freaks, geeks, and oddballs enjoy this blog while the mainstream, vanilla, bored and boring trolls criticize unblunder.
I happen to love it.
And that’s all that matters.
Burning Man 2016 is coming up.
The theme is “Da Vinci’s Workshop” which I think is an AWESOME theme.
I have done nothing to create a steampunk outfit for it however since my steampunk outfit is WAY TOO HOT to wear on the playa.
I do however have some really cool rainbow clothing and some leggings and corsets which will look awesome on the playa.
I will be gone August 26 – September 7 but have scheduled blogs to post which chronicle some of my Burning Man prep and experiences at last year’s burn. . . everything from getting my C*ck sucker certification at Retrofrolic to pimping out my bike, Burning Man style.
Consider it a nice little romp down memory lane until I can return and blog my newest Burning Man adventures.
Wish me luck!
One thing I can see on my blog are search terms people enter in their web browser to land at my site.
The number one search term is “THICK LEGS.”
Yes, I wrote about THICK LEGS a while back on account of the fact that I have them and I’ve hated them my whole life.
I’m in the process of trying to reprogram myself to not find them ugly.
Basically because it’s awful hard to go through life HATING a part of your body.
This picture is BY FAR THE MOST POPULAR pic I have online of THICK LEGS.
Beautiful lady, wouldn’t you say?
I wouldn’t call her ugly.
Then, of course, there’s the second term that people enter into their browser to search my site: HAIR PULLING.
My ex-boyfriend Dave was the first man to pull my hair, way back in 2010.
I remember I’d just mouthed off to him and challenged his masculinity.
When I turned my back on him, he grabbed a handful of hair, pulled on it, and whispered in my ear words that assured me he was quite virile and capable of taking care of business.
This picture is my HAIR PULLING picture that gets the most views.
And finally, people surf on into my site by searching for “BURNING MAN.”
I can’t tell you how exciting it is to have people read posts from my virgin year at Burning Man in 2015.
I was such a crazy planner and Tejas barely managed to reign me in. Perhaps I was a little too obsessed with clothing, but in the end, I survived the desert and even had a good time despite some crappy events transpiring.
Happy to share my thoughts with others.
Of course, THIS is the most popular Burning Man pic on my site:
So there you have it. . . the top 3 searches that land people on unblunder – THICK LEGS, HAIR PULLING, and BURNING MAN.
That’s about right.
It’s hard to date a blogger.
ESPECIALLY one as transparent as I am.
EVERYTHING goes on the internet:
- That time I peed my pants in Tahoe
- The guy who was BEYOND LOUSY in bed
- All my laments over my chemically-induced social awkwardness
You will usually find me blogging about whatever is on my mind from the men who capture my fancy, like Nathan and Krunch; to past lovers who I remember fondly, like Jay and Charlie The Aussie; to men I fantasize about but can never have, like Alexander Skarsgård and Joe Manganiello.
I’d like to think I’m more of a lover than a hater. Unfortunately, the hate tends to be funnier than the love, like when The Hunk had an epic skill/equipment failure in bed with me.
I’ve been advised that the reason I’m single is because of this blog.
That might be true but I can’t help but feel like deep down, my blog will actually draw in the right man for me.
Imagine how nice it’d be to have all your experiences and secrets in one place where a person can read about them.
My thoughts. My hopes. My frustrations.
If a man can get through my blog posts AND STILL be interested in me, then he passed the test.
And the thing is, PLENTY of men like this blog and read it.
So there’s hope.
There’s a reason this blog is called unblunder…
Because everything seems wrong at first until it suddenly turns beautifully, epically RIGHT!
It’s been a little quiet on unblunder lately. That’s because I’ve been on a three week vacation and I didn’t have enough time to prepare my posts ahead of time. So I let it go dark.
I have to admit, it was wildly liberating to not have to worry about writing posts for this site, although it did go against my policy of making sure I post at least once a day. Please forgive!
I had a fantastic vacation and will be posting the latest shortly. In the meantime, I want to wish you all a very happy holidays and fantastic 2016!
$22.40 on Redbubble. Should I get one? I’d be all over it if it was a women’s tee!
Unblunder is back online!
Recently, I’ve gotten into a lot of hot water for blogging about other people. Some people have been concerned with what I wrote about them. I can only say I’m sorry and I’ll keep this blog focused on my personal life in the future and leave burners/OMers/boyfriends/etc. out of it. Please forgive.
And this was seriously the blog post that was scheduled for today:
Writing a blog takes a lot of creative juices.
Imagine having to come up with an interesting topic/s every single day.
At least that’s what I have to do since I publish daily.
I like to think of it as a very selfless and a very selfish process.
On the one hand, you’re writing for the entertainment of others. It’s like having a second job. Research goes into it. So does planning and hard work.
On the other hand, I write a lot about myself and my life so I think of it as a very selfish process. I get to write about me and whatever I feel like writing that day.
Between you and me, I also write because I have a very bad memory. And it helps to keep a journal with all my thoughts, activities, and interests.
The one thing I’m never prepared for is when someone I barely know approaches me and starts talking about my life. I’m always a little surprised that people know and remember the details I post online. Lord knows I forget them.
I’ve been approached by acquaintances at parties who mention that they love my blog and I instantly know that they know almost all the details of my life.
They know me.
Suddenly I realize that they know I picked my nose at Burning Man. And my heart’s been broken recently. And I like to buy expensive lingerie. And I failed to lose my virginity when I tried my sophomore year in high school. And oh, so much more!
Ultimately, what I like about having a blog that isn’t anonymous is that it lets me connect with people I normally wouldn’t get the chance to connect with.
- Jeanne and Nicole from high school.
- Rick from North Carolina.
So feel free to send me a text, drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org, or provide a little feedback the next time I see you.
It’s good to have you here.