Isolation Treatment

Post-Christmas, I spent a little money at Shein buying some clothes and I just have to share because I find an unusual trend starting to develop.

I’m all about comfort lately.

Comfortable pajamas, comfortable clothes, even comfortable shoes.

It’s a shame really.

I can’t remember the last time I wore high heels and dressed to impress.

[It was when I dressed up as Miss Piggy and tried to wow Big Joe.]

Well, I’m not going after sequin dresses and high heels anymore.

No.

I’m going after velour, velvet and cotton.

Comfortable, breathable clothes that I can wear inside the house, or out, without worrying I might look too casual.

First, I got some undergarments:

Then I bought some warm, cuddly clothes:

But in the end, it’s these three pieces I could not ignore:

You know I love them because I’m a smart ass and because they convey a certain attitude of disregard for the rules of fashion.

Sure, I could get dressed up NYE and host a zoom soiree, and I MIGHT JUST DO THAT.

But ultimately, what I really want to do is to host a snuggle fest, with everyone in onesies or some soft, gentle clothing.

In my mind, a very handsome, bearded man would fixate on me and snuggle me in ways I’ve only been dreaming of these last nine months of isolation.

It’s my treatment for isolation.

Underthings

It’s a universal dilemma for women, I think.

You can wear granny panties that SUCK YOU IN (they’re called Spanx) and give you a smooth silhouette, or you can wear sexy lingerie which lets all the lumps and bumps show.

If you desire to wear sexy lingerie AND have a SMOOTH silhouette, you encounter a Catch 22.

The desired outcome is impossible to attain because of contradictory rules and conditions.

Now.

I have (on occasion) worn my SPANX under my clothes to parties and on dates in order to look sleek and smooth.

Those scary looking girdles really hold you in!

Then, when I’m going to “get busy” I go to the bathroom and CHANGE into my sexy underwear.

Something black and lacy, perhaps?

Or vibrant red and trimmed with velvet?

Of course, I always wonder if my date can tell that something is different.

All of a sudden I have a tummy.

Or my hips have love handles.

What’s up with that, he might think?

No one has ever said anything to me, so I suspect I’ve managed to SLIP IT UNDER THEIR RADAR.

But now I’ve bought an under-the-bust corset to even further the charade that I’m shaped like the perfect hourglass.

I imagine I’ll get totally screwed when it comes to getting naked, however.

No pun intended, but it’s virtually impossible to get out of a corset without help.

But it could work to my advantage seeing as how a woman in nothing but an under-the-bust corset is actually pretty damn sexy.

Think voluptuous breasts and an ample rear end.

I’m quite sure I could get this to work for me.