Down the Rabbit Hole

It’s nearly fall y’all.

And you know what that means – Halloween!

Yes, it’s my favorite holiday of the whole year.

As a child, I remember countless costume birthday parties my family hosted for me since my birthday falls just two days after Halloween.

I’ve started brain storming for a new costume idea (despite the fact that I have enough costumes to start my own costume shop).

A few that have started to bounce around in my brain:

Uma Thurman’s Bride character in Kill Bill:

Miley Cyrus as Ashley O:

And I REALLY would like to emulate Lizzo somehow but I just don’t think that’s politically correct:

As it turns out on my ACTUAL birthday, unSCruz is planning an overnight event at the Fairgrounds called “2nd Annual Monster’s Ball:  Beyond the Rabbit Hole.”

Ducking down rabbit holes is something I’m familiar with and I’m inclined to celebrate my birthday there this year, in which case I will need an Alice in Wonderland costume.

I already have a White Rabbit costume:

I also have a black burner bunny costume I could wear:

And a pink one:

So I’ve got plenty to choose from.

Or I just might put together something new.

Something no one has ever seen before.

It’s not every day I celebrate my birthday at a rave.

Hug Therapy

michelleIt’s been a rough three weeks for me.

First, I got the flu on the eve of my trip to Florida to meet The Swede and I had to cancel.

All that vacation prep down the tube:  nails, pedicure, body scrub, spray tan, hair.

I felt very sorry for myself, I’ll have you know.

But just as well since I have a busted pussy that I’m not allowed to use.

Speaking of the busted pussy, it’s screaming at me right now from the biopsy.

To be honest, it burns something fierce and I’m really irritated that I have to deal with the painful aftermath of the biopsy while trying to focus on work.

Someone should bring me cake, just to cheer me up and remind me that my busted pussy is only temporary.

At least, that’s my hope.

Results next week.

Until then I’ll just have to keep living this celibate lifestyle, hoping and praying that everything turns out normal.

And I’m not one to complain but it sucked to go to unSCruz for five days and not be able to flirt AT ALL.

I love flirting.

Breathe.

Flirt.

Breathe.

Flirt.

Fortunately, I was able to hug A LOT of people.

Hugs are the exact therapy I need to treat all my worries.

Send virtual hugs, please.

I’m in need of some.

Busted pussy

If you read yesterday’s post, then you know that unSCruz was HOT during the day and COLD AS FUCK at night.

I literally brought one warm weather dress for the entire event.

I pretty much lived in a bright yellow sundress during the day.

At night I would envelop myself in a nice warm onesie.

Thank God for those onesies.

It would have been sheer torture without them.

The first night I was there I climbed into a FRIGID bed and literally curled up in the tiniest ball I could muster, pulled the bedspread over me, and prayed that the bed would heat up fast.

The second night I was there I shared my bed with a friend and I appreciated the warmth of another body, but it was still pretty chilly.

It reminded me of the time I took The Swede to unSCruz two years ago and I brought nothing but a black lace romper to wear to bed and it was FUCKING FREEZING at night so I wore my lingerie with a full-length faux fur jacket over it.

And socks.

I’m nothing if not sexy.

The remaining nights were not as cold as the first two, but they certainly weren’t all that comfortable either.

Especially when you’re sleeping alone.

But sleeping alone was fine by me seeing as how (sorry I’ve been holding out on you) I have a cervical biopsy this week and I’m literally NOT ALLOWED to have sex, according to my doctor.

So there you have it.

UnSCruz was cold at night and I may have cancer.

Fucking busted pussy!

unSCruz

UnSCruz came and went and honestly, I’m still recovering from ALL THAT FUN!

I arrived on Wednesday morning and got my camp set up in an hour.

After that, it was nothing but the occasional work shift and a lot of day (and night) drinking.

I think I started off Friday morning with not one, not two, but THREE BLOODY MARYS.

And one was a double!

Six ounces of vodka in a six-hour period means I was feeling no pain.

Which was great, because as it turned out I gave myself a SUNBURN on Thursday.

A bad sunburn.

But one I was thankful for because IT WAS SO COLD AT NIGHT that my sunburn helped to keep me warm (a bit).

More on the temperature later.

In any case, here are some photos I can share from the event.

Hope you like!

Bizarre Bazaar

I’ve SOMEWHAT recovered from the flu.

I still have a lingering cough that won’t seem to go away.

I must be healthy for unSCruz.

Can’t miss The Big Event.

I’ve gotten a TON of advice on how to get healthy:

  • Echinacea
  • Vitamin C (enough to choke a sailor)
  • Drink plenty of fluids
  • Eat spicy foods
  • Airborne

I tried to eat spicy foods, because I love spice, and discovered it only gave me coughing fits.

And coughing is suffering right now.

It feels like I’ve done a million sit ups.

I tried Vitamin C also, only to discover that other than making my pee a bright yellow, it seemed to have little effect on my coughing.

Airborne had a similar result.

So I’m hanging in there.

Not getting worse, but could certainly use a little improvement in the health department.

Especially considering that my friend Dante will be staying in my tent at unSCruz and I KNOW he won’t appreciate listening to me cough all night.

So there’s ANOTHER reason to get myself healthy.

I missed out on my Florida vacation, but I’m sure as hell not going to miss unSCruz.

Can’t wait to post my unSCruz 2019 blog posts and show you all the fun I had.

Let’s hope this year I don’t trip and fall and bang my nose on a bucket!

How many tiaras does one woman need?

UnSCruz is coming!

It’s just around the corner and I realized (late) that with all the trips I’m taking this month (to Reno and Florida), there’s very little time to prep for unSCruz.

Fortunately, I have a really accurate inventory of all my camping gear courtesy of my neat-freak mother who made me go through all my stuff in the garage, clear out what I don’t need, and inventory what I’m keeping.

As is typical, I’m mostly worried about my outfits.

I haven’t had a chance to put anything new together.

I’d go with a standard tutu and tank top but all my tutus have been recycled because they’re OLD and covered in playa dust.

Honestly, off the top of my head I can’t come up with a SINGLE OUTFIT for unSCruz save my onesie outfits (which may be hot) and my peacock/butterfly outfits (which may be cold).

There’s not much in between.

There’s no time to shop so I’m just going to have to give it my best shot and go through the bins and bins of costumes I have and try to figure out what to wear.

Did I mention I have TEN itemized bins of costumes in my garage?

Indeed.

And that’s not even ALL of it.

I have bags of outfits in my bedroom.

Normally, I’d be in full consumer-mode right now, buying items to put together new costumes for unSCruz.

But that’s not going to happen this year.

I may have finally reached that threshold where I can raid my bins for outfits and find something appropriate to wear WITHOUT going shopping.

I so admire Burners who can create outfits without shopping for new clothes and accessories.

How many tiaras does one woman need?

One, right?

Unless you’re the Queen of England.

Monkey business

I’ve been thinking about Bizarre Bazaar.

What can I wear?

It’s in the beginning of May so it’s still a little brisk during the day.

And it gets cold at night.

So I came up with an idea.

Why not wear my onesies to unSCruz and combine them with unique hats and (maybe) wigs?

Check out my monkey business onesie:

Wouldn’t it be perfect to pair it with this hat from etsy?

Maybe I won’t be the coolest, or the sexiest woman there, but I’ll be warm and very VERY cheeky (the onesie has a butt-flap)!

Bizarre Bazaar

Yay!

I can finally talk about unSCruz because it’s been announced that the theme is Bizarre Bazaar and the event will last FOUR days, instead of three.

I’m so excited I could just spit.

In case you don’t know, unSCruz is a regional Burning Man event that takes place the first weekend of May at the Santa Cruz Fairgrounds.

It’s A TON of fun!

Imagine art, lights, music, dancing, fire, drinks, and costumes like you can’t believe.

Every year I fall more and more in love with this event.

It’s truly the most burner fun you can have outside of Burning Man.

Of course, Precompression, Decompression, and Pagan Bunny Burn are a close second BUT. . .

unSCruz has showers.

‘Nuf said.

In any case, I’m scouring the internet for costume ideas for unSCruz.

For some reason this year I’m in to funny hats.

I really want to buy some unique and colorful hats to wear and etsy is RIPE with funny hats!

Check out these hats below:

The vibrator to end them all

You can take the girl out of Catholic school but you can’t take the Catholic school out of the girl.

Or something like that.

At unSCruz, there was one itty bitty contraption that mesmerized me.

A standing vibrator.

Yes, you heard me right – A STANDING VIBRATOR.

Just along the side of the walkway, as I live and breathe.

I went in to get a closer look.

There was a fully clothed woman on it, and she and an “operator” were fine-tuning the vibrations.

It was wild to see it.

Now, I’ve heard about this vibrator before.

It has something of a reputation you see.

Apparently, it massages EVERYTHING.

And, given enough time, will result in an extraordinary climax.

Half of me wanted to try it.

Simply so I could report back and let you know what I thought of it.

But truthfully, it was always being used, so I never got a chance to ride it.

It was quite popular!

The other half of me thought, “Shouldn’t this be in a tent or something?”

It’s the Catholic girl in me who was shy about having a screaming orgasm where everyone could see.

Nevertheless, if I find it on playa I will have to test it out. . . because I’m curious like that.

Despite my Catholic sensibilities.

unSCruz 2018: Playground for adults

The thing about unSCruz is that it’s EXACTLY LIKE A PLAYGROUND FOR ADULTS.

All the things you wish existed out there in the world for you to enjoy exist within unSCruz.

Art.

Music.

Would you like to join in a cuddle puddle on a flying ship?

Done.

Take nude photos with a professional photographer?

You can have it.

Learn about kinks you never knew you had?

Wish granted!

Something that TOTALLY BLEW ME AWAY this year was the Rainbow Trike Track.

Basically someone built a mini tricycle track inside one of the warehouses at unSCruz and you could hop on one of the rainbow trikes (think Big Wheels for adults) and get squirrely on the track!

I know!

So much fun!

Open bars?

Yes please (though no outside alcohol is allowed in unSCruz)!

In my heart of hearts, my home away from home will always be Ali Bar Bar.

And they had a magnificent new marquee!

And of course, the best and sexiest bartenders!

unSCruz even had a BURN!

And it was a great burn because the man lit up beautifully but didn’t fall down for quite some time.

More blaze for everyone to enjoy!

All in all, quite the magnificent trip and so worth all the effort that went into planning and executing.