Ragnar Lothbrok

Let’s be honest, the ENTIRE reason I watch Vikings is to see Travis Fimmel play Ragnar Lothbrok.

The love triangle between him, Aslaug and Lagertha is titillating to say the least.

So it comes as no surprise then that I’d want someone to play Ragnar to my Lagertha.

 

1.  Foam battle axe – $37.99

2.  Viking costume with shield – $79.98 including shield

3.  Men’s fur-lined cape – $30.15

4.  Brown leather wristband – $9.99

5.  Medieval ring belt – $41.00

6.  Brown medieval boots – $79.99 – $89.99

7.  Viking shield – $79.98 including costume

 

 

Contains affiliate links

Ragnar and Lagertha

I’ve been thinking about having a Viking’s Ragnar Lothbrok to pair with my Lagertha outfit and it seems to me that there are sources out there where you can buy a full Ragnar costume for $2,300 or a cheaper version for $350.

Of course the only friend I have right now in my “Covid Bubble” is 6’7” tall and not a standard size therefore regular sized clothes won’t fit him.

But he’d make a remarkable Ragnar Lothbrok.

And let’s just take a second to appreciate Travis Fimmel and Katheryn Winnick’s on-screen chemistry in this YouTube video of the on-and-off-again lovers Ragnar and Lagertha:

Viking Porn

It’s been a long time since I thought about Charlie the Aussie.

Charlie was named after ALL HIS RELATIVES.

His had one first name – Charles – and 7 middle names.

If it sounds like he was royalty, that’s because he was royalty.

He was a Knight in the Order of Australia, an honor he received because he crewed a sailboat that sailed from Australia to the Orient (I’m not sure where, this detail has escaped me) as part of an anniversary celebration.

Charlie was magnificent.

He would run marathons in the wilderness.

He could sail ships (obviously) and if you blindfolded him and dropped him off in the desert with a Snickers and a liter of water, he would FIND HIS WAY BACK HOME, no big deal.

Needless to say, I really adored Charlie.

Sadly however, Charlie did not adore me back.

He had a wife (he was separated, not divorced) and a special needs son and in the end, Charlie went back to his wife and he quickly became just a fond memory for me.

So why do I bring him up now?

Well, Facebook has somehow figured out that I know him and keeps flashing his face for me to “add as a friend.”

Now.

Facebook knows what I shopped online for two days ago.

They flash it in my sidebar.

They also know what I had for dinner last night.

And they like to remind me of it daily.

So I’m surprised that Facebook hasn’t figured out a way to keep ex-boyfriends from showing up in your “Potential Friends” list.

That way lies nothing but sorrow.

I’m waiting for Facebook to figure out that I’m moved on from Aussies to Swedes.

Don’t remind me of Aussie disappointments.

Show me some Viking porn.

Do I like Vikings?

Do I like Vikings?

Vikings like this one?

Or this one?

Why yes, I think I do.

The Swede is descended from Vikings.

So am I, as least in part.

Maybe a Viking and a Scot fell in love a long time ago and to them I owe my whole existence.

Maybe a Viking PLUNDERED and PILLAGED a Scot village a long time ago and to that I owe my whole existence.

In reality, the story of my conception is pretty damn cool.

Two eighth graders fell foolishly in love and whoops!

Made a baby.

The Swede flies in on April 30th and we’re set to go on a date.

If he’s not too jet lagged.

I’m looking forward to seeing this modern day Viking again, just before UnSCruz.

The big news is. . .

. . . I have kicked Tejas out of our tent so that we can have some privacy.

Don’t worry, I’m bringing a backup tent for Tejas.

He was bummed when I told him but said it was predictable.

“Think of it as a way for you to get your own privacy too,” I hinted.

So there you have it.

I’m finally willing to admit I MAY want privacy with The Swede.

And by God, I’ll get it!