The Elephant in the Room

It might be time to discuss the elephant in the room.

Namely, the fact that I’ve been single for nearly a decade with not a boyfriend in sight.

A decade does seem like an unusually long time to find love.

I’m not complaining, mind you, just noticing that it does bother me a little.

Especially when I have friends who seem to leap from relationship to relationship with hardly a break in between.

I wonder, is there something wrong with me?

Am I somehow broken or damaged?

Imperfect in ways that make me unlovable?

Of course, it’s really not about me, is it?

It’s about serendipity.

The irony is that the older I get, the more suitable I become for a relationship yet the farther away it all seems to be.

I’ve never felt more alone, going through another cancer scare by myself with my family and friends for support.

Where’s my significant other?

Late, apparently.

But if the old adage is true, and good things come to those who wait, then every day brings me one step closer to complete happiness.

I’m not saying a romance is the end-all-be-all, just that I’m expecting a landslide of good karma to come round to me again at some point in the near future.

Eventually, the stars and planets will align and I’ll find what I’m missing, no?

And I can’t wait to banish the elephant from the room.

Waiting

It’s been just over 6 months since Austin and I started texting.

He liked my blog and I found a kindred spirit in him. Worldly. Intuitive. Expansive.

It occurs to me now that getting to know Austin has gone completely backwards. First we literally scoured each other’s sexuality. Then we got to know each other on a more intimate level.

By the time we went on our first date, there was hardly anything left to find out except how we like our coffee in the morning.

Ok, I jest. There’s always more to discover about a person and Austin in particular is very enigmatic. I’m sure there’s PLENTY I don’t know about him.

Surprisingly, given all our graphics pics and texts, nothing happened on our first date.

This could be a very good move on Austin’s part. I’m not used to men who make me wait. I feel like I’m charting new territory and I kinda like the feeling. It reminds me of my favorite saying:

So here I am, WAY OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE with Austin. My sex drive is through the roof and only getting bigger.

IT’S LIKE THE MOST STRENUOUS MENTAL FOREPLAY I’VE EXPERIENCED.

Which doesn’t surprise me since Austin’s grasp on the complexity and depth of female sexuality is phenomenal. And since he’s proving himself to be an outrageously good top.

So Date #2 is coming up. We’re going up Mt. Hamilton and to a great little dive bar in Livermore called The Junction.

You must be wondering if I’m going to turn on my sex appeal and try to get Austin to kiss me.

The answer is no.

I fully intend to let Austin have his way in this matter and let him set the pace.

I can wait.