In dust we trust

This one time, at Burning Man, I rode the Partysmail during an epic dust storm to the man to watch him burn.

It was Saturday night, and instead of feeling happy and excited, I was pissy and irritated.

Me and dust storms DO NOT GET ALONG.

Also?

It was cold.

Very cold.

I was wearing rainbow velour pants and my neon green faux fur long jacket.

And I was still cold.

I took out my camera and shot a few seconds worth of the dust storm.

Later on, I looked at the footage and realized it reminded me of something out of a Star Wars movie on desolated Tatooine, with a collection of oddballs and assorted mutant vehicles all trying to weather the dust storm.

When people ask to see photos and video of my experiences at Burning Man sure, I show them the picture of a hot blonde chick in a white under-the-bust corset, toe shoes, and NOTHING ELSE.

She was part of my 2015 burn.

But I also show them the video of the dust storm.

Not just to warn them of what may lay ahead. . .

. . .but to remind myself that I’m actually one pretty tough chick myself.

I may not stumble around on toe shoes in nothing but a corset, but I can weather a freezing cold dust storm.

Honestly, I’ve been to a few burns now, but that experience of getting disoriented in a dust storm, of watching people materialize and dematerialize in the dust, sitting hunkered down on a mutant vehicle with my goggles and mask on, that experience made me more of a burner than any of my previous burns ever did.

There is no such thing as too cold

It’s going to be COLD in Watsonville during the night for unSCruz.

Like in the 40s.

For a California girl (who is sleeping alone), that’s COLD!

I’ve gotten an offer from one man who is willing to sleep with me for the duration of the event.

And while he is a handsome, hot-blooded, American male, I think I’m going to pass.

I should be able to stay warm for a few reasons:

  1. I recycled my 10’ x 14’ tent and am now sleeping in an 8’ x 7’ tent. The smaller the tent, the less bodies it takes to heat it up, right?
  2. I’m bringing a sleeping bag rated to 10 degrees. I plan to layer it under my comforter to stay nice and toasty warm.
  3. I bought an electric blanket off of Amazon that runs off of batteries! Who even KNEW these existed?!

I really wish The Swede could be there with me.

He’s going to be in Sweden where it’s MUCH COLDER than 40 degrees and where he SCOFFS at my California girl complaints that it’s too cold.

LOL.

He is a Viking.

There is no such thing as too cold.

Read my mind, I dare you!

I am driving everyone around me ABSOLUTELY crazy.

I know this because I’ve managed to even irritate MYSELF.

And yet, I still persist.

You see, I’m fixated on the Pagan Bunny Burn and my level of organization has gone THROUGH THE ROOF!

Inventory?

Check.

Meal schedule?

Check.

Map?

Check.

Color-coded map with event notes?

Check.

I mean, really. . .who DOES THIS?

Today I cross referenced the schedule of activities to list the food events, times, and locations on our meal schedule so that we can see at a glance what’s happening foodwise at any given time.

It’s moments like these that Tejas can sit back, laugh, and THANK GOD he’s not in a relationship with me.

Because right now, I’m SUPER irritating.

The thing is, I DON’T REMEMBER the stuff I pack or where it is unless I write it down.

Do you know how many times I bought ratchet straps because I have no idea where my other ones are?

[They’ve been eaten by Tejas’ MotorBeast, btw.]

I’ve spent a lot of money getting ready for this burn.

I even bought a propane tabletop heater so that I can keep warm on the cold nights.

So you can imagine what happened when I mentioned to Tejas that light rains were expected for our campout and he said. . .

“Maybe we shouldn’t go. It’ll be cold and wet.”

I just stared at him.

And stared.

And dared him to read my mind.

Sweden

I’m one step closer to booking my trip to Stockholm.

I just bought myself a big, puffy, faux fur trim, hooded jacket.

Because basically I’m OBSESSED with the weather.

I live in a temperate climate and so I rarely get to experience the phenomenon known as WEATHER.

Nope.

I basically exist between 50 and 105 degrees Fahrenheit every year.

In Stockholm in December, normal temperatures are around freezing and occasionally warm up to 35 degrees.

That’s COLD!

I don’t even KNOW about the sun, but I suspect being that far north in the hemisphere means that there will be MUCH LESS DAYLIGHT than what I’m used to.

Once, I took a trip to Pennsylvania in the winter time.

Besides shoveling snow EVERY DAMN DAY I WAS THERE, I got to experience what I like to call FUCKING COLD ASS WEATHER.

It was 10 degrees outside.

I’ve never experienced cold like that.

With the wind chill factored in, the temperature was below zero.

BELOW FUCKING ZERO!

The wind WHIPPED through my jeans like needles of ice pricking me and I remembered those ridiculous looking long puffy jackets people on the east coast wore and realized that THIS IS WHY THEY WEAR THOSE SILLY THINGS.

BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING COLD!

Well, I’m not positive, but I think Sweden is COLDER THAN PENNSYLVANIA!

Nevertheless, I have heard it’s beautiful.

And technically, I’m probably Swedish myself (23andMe says I’m mostly Northwestern European).

So I SHOULD go.

But will I?

Nerves

I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed by unSCruz.

A lot EXCITED but a little NERVOUS.

After all, I’m cooking for two men (and myself) and serving as “Entertainment Director” for my visitor from Sweden.

That’s A LOT.

Just the other day Tejas asked me how he was going to get refills of his drink if I’m wandering around with The Swede.

You see, Tejas’ knees make it improbable for him to wander around on the uneven surface of the Fairgrounds.

It’s better for him to pick a spot (like Ali Bar Bar) and set himself up in a seat there and chat with visitors at that location than it is for him to hike all over meeting people.

I told him, “You’ll just have to wait until I swing by.”

Or, BRING A VERY BIG CUP!

Truth is, there’s a lot that could go wrong at unSCruz this weekend.

I hope I get to relax and I’m not running around cooking and cleaning the whole time.

Last year, I was very nicely taken care of by Marina’s boyfriend Todd.

He did almost all the cooking and cleaning for us.

In the drizzling rain, no less!

Fortunately, Marina and Todd are coming to unSCruz this weekend as well and they’re bringing friends.

Newbie friends.

Can’t wait to see what they think of the whole regional Burning Man experience!

My favorite picture from last year’s unSCruz is a picture of Marina and Todd, in my tent trailer, eating KFC after setting up in the rain.  They’re wet and they look bedraggled.

Yeah, the weekend was off to a rough start but got much better after that.

This weather forecast calls from sunny/cloudy weather, which will be PERFECT for unSCruz.

Although I admit there’s a lot that can go wrong, I’m just going to go ahead and predict SUCCESS on my part right now.

Gonna knock it out of the ballpark!