Weddings

I LOVE weddings.

There’s nothing like the scent of LOVE in the air to make me giddy and light hearted.

My cousin just got married and I LOVED his wedding.

Her ethereal dress.

His burgundy suit.

My family, all dressed up (believe it or not).

The beautiful bridesmaids and handsome groomsmen.

Lately, I’ve been swarmed with articles about Nick Jonas marrying Priyanka Chopra and I must say, I think the Hindus are on to something.

If you’re going to have a wedding, why not make an ENTIRE WEEK OF CELEBRATIONS OUT OF IT?

I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE to attend a week’s worth of wedding parties to celebrate the union of two loved ones.

Honestly, I think I’m captivated by Nick and Priyanka’s wedding because there is SO MUCH GOING ON the wardrobe changes are AMAZING!

Seriously.

The dresses, the robes, the headdresses, the jewelry, the mehndi. . .

It’s all so incredible, I am left speechless.

There’s nothing quite as satisfying as a well-done wedding.

Whether it’s a backyard barbecue for 50 or a celebrity wedding for 400.

Whether it has a one thousand dollar budget or a one million dollar budget.

I’ve come to the conclusion that although I LOVE being a WEDDING GUEST, I’m not quite as BIG on BEING IN THEM.

It makes me think about what I want for my (next) wedding.

Ha ha ha.

Yes, I’ve already had one and it was lovely and small.

I love week long Hindu weddings but if I were to marry again, I’d elope.

In a FABULOUS dress, of course!

My heart is full

Nick and Kaitlin photo cred: my aunt Xondra

On a beautiful, sunny afternoon in Cloverdale, California, my cousin Nick married the love of his life.

And I was there to see it all.

I was also there to take a fall.

Yes, that’s right.

I took a tumble in my sky high heels on the grass a mere two steps away from an actual walkway.

It was HORRIBLY embarrassing.

But you know, wouldn’t be me if there wasn’t some sort of unusual occurrence to overcome.

Sometimes it’s a rude boy, other times it’s wicked high heels.

So Nick and Caitlin got married and I indeed cried when they read their vows to each other.

Nick had virtually lost his voice the night before but he managed to speak clearly and concisely about all the ways he loved Caitlin.

And I’m not kidding when I say that everyone got choked up.

It was beautiful.

Romantic.

Everything you want to see when your cousin picks out the woman of his dreams to marry.

So maybe I fell.

Big whoop.

It was clear that these two lovebirds had fallen too.

Fallen totally in love with each other.

And watching them dedicate themselves to one another for the rest of their lives, well that just turned a beautiful day in October into an extraordinary fall day in October.

My heart is full.

I was going to be good. . .

I was going to be good.

I had it all planned out in my head.

I was going to wear my red and purple dress to my cousin’s wedding in October.

I even bought a little red and purple fascinator to go with it.

But then I wore the dress on a date (a disaster of a date, if you ask me).

And it struck me that for a wedding, it was AWFULLY low cut.

Maybe too much so.

I mean, I don’t want to be remembered as the cousin who had her tatas hanging out while her cousin got married.

I can just hear the gossip now.

“Who’s Michelle?”

“You know, she was the one in the really low cut dress. . .”

“Oh right. Tacky.”

My Aunt Xondra has informed me that if she gets married, she’s making me wear a turtleneck.

So it seems I have a bit of a reputation for this sort of thing.

Therefore, I bought a dress at Nordstrom to wear to the wedding.

A lavender floral dress.

Isn’t it pretty?

And not the least bit low cut.

Demure, even.

I also bought a teeny tiny fascinator to go with the dress.

So even though the plan was to not spend money, I did spend a wee bit on a new outfit.

I was going to be good.

But being bad is so much better!

 

Good enough for British aristocracy

I AM GOING TO A WEDDING!

In case you didn’t know, weddings are my favorite weekend activity.

And this one is great because IT’S MY COUSIN getting married!

And I’m staying in a nice hotel!

And I’m bringing one of my sons!

You’d think, as a chronically single woman I would HATE weddings.

But you’d be wrong.

I love them!

I love seeing couples share their wedding vows with family and friends.

I love seeing the guests all dolled up in their finest.

I love the focus on love conquering all and emerging triumphant over loneliness.

It gives me hope for my own personal life.

Perhaps someday soon, I too will meet a man who captures my heart.

But until that time, I will have to be satisfied attending other people’s weddings.

I have a BEAUTIFUL red and purple maxi dress that I plan to wear to the wedding.

It’s got a plunging neckline, it’s wedding-appropriate, and I happen to love the bright vivid colors.

But what to wear with it?

And this is where I turn into crazy cousin Michelle with her unusual clothing selection and accessories.

I bought a fascinator to go with it:

If it’s good enough for the British aristocracy, then it’s good enough for me.

Of course, their hats are subdued and monochromatic while mine is colorful and wild.

But you know what?

I LOVE IT!

And I’m going to wear it.

I do

My cousin is engaged.

This is not new news.

This is OLD news.

Because he got engaged MONTHS ago but I have yet to write about it.

You see, my cousin is a very thoughtful man and he hired a company to record the entire proposal.

It brings tears to my eyes every time I watch the video.

And I’ve seen it at least a dozen times.

Each viewing gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling inside.

Yes.

Something is right in this world which brought Nick and Katie together.

They are two BEAUTIFUL people, inside and out, and they will have a beautiful family someday, if they choose.

The reason why I’m writing this post is not to say that I believe in love.

Because I do.

Or because I love my cousin.

Which I do.

No.

I’m writing this post because today I made a reservation at the wedding hotel.

Me in a king bed ALL BY MYSELF.

And just once, even though I will have tons of family there, I just don’t want to be alone.

I don’t want to be that woman anymore.

The one who shows up single and gets stuck sitting next to the only single guy at the wedding who is a Trump supporter which depresses me and drives me to drink unusual amounts of wine until I get silly, dance the chicken dance with my family, and have to go back to my hotel early to sleep it off leaving me with a wicked headache in the morning.

Yup.

Okay, so that’s the WORST CASE SCENARIO.

And truthfully, my cousin Jennifer would probably never sit me next to a Trump supporter (unless he’s family J )

But just this once, let an appropriate solution present itself to me so that I’m not flying solo at the wedding.

Please.

 

Flashback unSCruz 2017 – The Wedding

My wedding – February 2, 1996

If you ask me what are the top 5 weddings I’ve attended, the unSCruz wedding would have to be at the top of my list, just under my own wedding.

I got so emotional as I watched the father-of-the-bride walk his daughter down the rose lined aisle.

It was a beautiful ceremony and one that was infused with the flavor of the couple getting married.

The bride wore horns.

The groom wore a crown.

They were perfectly matched and watching them share their love with their family and friends, one couldn’t help but be moved by the total and utter devotion they showed each other.

It was truly a sight to see.

Of course, the family and friends of the bride and groom were equally festive for the nuptials.

I saw belly dancers, fairies, steampunk outfits, wedding dresses, Greek goddesses, peacocks, saris, you name it – it was out there on display.

Everywhere you turned there was something to look at.

The wedding was a melting pot of styles and flavors.

So beautiful.

The Swede saved me a spot up front by the bride and groom so I got to hear the exchange of vows and watch the handfasting up close.

They promised to love one another til the end of time.

What else is there?

 

‘Tis the season for WEDDINGS!

You might think, given my staunch support of my single status, that I wouldn’t be into weddings, but in fact I LOVE GOING TO WEDDINGS!

There’s nothing much better than watching a couple celebrate their love with all their loved ones around them.

I cry.

K&B’s wedding was no exception.

The groom got choked up and I INSTANTLY started to cry.

Thankfully I got a packet of tissues from another wedding guest, so I was prepared for the WATERWORKS.

My dear friend Michelle officiated the wedding and she did an amazing job of knitting together the story of the lovely couple with their appreciation of the family and friends who attended their wedding.

Personally, I was THRILLED to just be out of the Bay Area, breathing the fresh air of Yosemite.

It also helped that I was on painkillers and muscle relaxants for my injured neck so not only was it a beautiful wedding, I was also high as a kite for it.

I was blissfully happy and that’s the EXACT state that you should be in for a wedding!

And GOD BLESS THE BRIDE for NOT throwing the bouquet.

There were two – count them TWO – single women at the wedding.

Me and a lovely guest who flew in all the way from Boston.

I actually turned to the other single woman and said, “So, I’ll arm wrestle you for the bouquet. . .”

She looked aghast.

“You can have it,” she replied.

“I’m joking,” I told her. “Last thing I want is a bridal bouquet.”

What an awkward moment that would have been, no?

Shoes, Yosemite, Weddings and Fire. . .oh my!

Has it been fricking forever since I posted something about shoes?

I think it has.

Y’all know how much I LOVE shoes.

Lately, however shoes don’t love me.

They’re either too tight around the foot or the ankle.

FUCK weight gain!

Who knew your FEET could get bigger?

In any case, I need a pair of shoes to go with my yellow dress at the upcoming wedding in Yosemite (crosses fingers and says a prayer the fires will stay away).

I got a pair of flats for the outdoor ceremony.

No need to totter across stones, dirt, and grass in heels, right?

And then I got this GORGEOUS pair of heels, with a little flower by Pelle Mode to wear for the reception, which now that I think about it, might be outdoors as well.

No matter, the bottom line is I AM PREPARED.

Now if we can just extinguish those DISASTROUS fires, that would be PERFECT!

Love is in the air

The wedding was beautiful!

So much LOVE in the air.

The whole camp woke up early on Thursday to go to deep playa for the wedding at dawn.

I dragged my sleepy ass to the Party Snail and climbed on board.

The playa glowed GREEN under the Party Snail lights at dawn, as we stepped off our art car to watch the wedding.

It was a beautiful, pagan ceremony that took place in front of a tower adorned with purple flowers.

The bride wore flowers, feathers, and an LED crown.

The groom wore a top hat.

After the wedding we all went to Ali Bar-Bar to have champagne and celebrate.

Then the Party Snail took us back home to our camp where I crashed and took a nap.

As always, I was touched and moved by the beautiful display of love from our treasured couple.

Anytime two people get together to declare their love for one another, I admire their dedication and commitment.

I, of course, can’t commit to wearing the same pair of shoes on a regular basis, let alone commit to loving someone the rest of my life.

Then again, I haven’t met anyone as extraordinary as I want in a partner, so it makes sense that I play the field.

Still, the beauty of their commitment shines through all my disbelief and I’m left with a feeling of warmth and happiness.

CONGRATULATIONS to the happy couple!

I wish you ALL THE BEST!

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Burning Man 2017: Burning Man Expectations

It’s IMPOSSIBLE for me to contemplate Burning Man expectations without thinking of the prophetic words of my Fearless Leader Twisty.

He told me it’s best to just let things evolve on the playa and not try to plan too much.

Did I listen to him?

Not the first year, I didn’t.

I had a WHOLE SCHEDULE filled with plans and activities I wanted to participate in.

Very few actually materialized.

I got to go to the temple and write my messages on the walls.

I went to Scotchfest solo.

And I got washed at the Human Carasss Wash.

That’s about it.

Most of the time I was lonely looking for friends to do stuff with.

My second year was better. I was scheduled to bake cookies for playa interactivity.

Everything else was UP IN THE AIR.

And I had a great time although I do feel like I should’ve done more exploring, less staying at home relaxing in the Motorbeast.

This year, I have a few things on my short list of THINGS TO DO:

Go to Transfoamation and dance in the foam.

Attend Scotchfest. With friends.

Watch the Rite of Spring.

Go to the wedding of my Fearless Leaders.

Short list, eh?

Should be something I can accomplish.