Wellness

There’s a wellness program at my work that assesses our fitness on an annual basis.

I skipped taking the assessment for the last two years but this year (since I get paid to do it), I took the assessment.

Lo and behold, I am in WORSE shape than I was in 2012.

Le duh.

Just so you know, it takes a tremendous amount of strength and character to get your health measured when you know it’s pretty bad.

I found out that in seven years I’ve gained 55 pounds.

OMG!!

How does that happen?

Well, I’ll tell you how:

  1. Eating too much food and beverages (specifically alcoholic beverages)
  2. Not working out enough
  3. Skipping daily weigh ins
  4. Living a sedentary lifestyle.

As it turns out, I’m only too aware that I can’t continue on this path.

Therefore, I’ve begun a fitness regimen.

I’m weighing myself EVERY DAY and going for walks on a regular basis.

I’m working myself up to 10,000 steps a day.

If you ask me what has changed between this post and my last post on dieting, I can tell you this – I AM EXERCISING.

And that’s new for me.

Usually I try to lose weight with only dieting.

But I see the importance of working out regularly now and I’m committed to being a dedicated dieter and adding exercise into my daily routine.

Truth be told, my cousin Jennifer has also inspired me to get fit.

She herself modified her diet and added exercise into her daily routine and now she looks even more fabulous than she always has.

She gives me a success story I can relate to.

Hopefully, in a few months I’ll be well on my way to better health, leaving my days of sloth and gluttony behind me.

Just watch me!

You don’t mess with my shoes

I didn’t mind gaining a little weight.

My boobs got bigger. . .

My stomach got a little softer. . .

My curves for a little more curvier. . .

What’s not to love about a little weight gain?

Well, diabetes for one.

High cholesterol for another.

And thirdly there’s join pain.

None of those things are fun and all of them can lead to long term health implications.

Things I don’t want to deal with for sure.

Sure, I am still fun in the sack (at least I used to be before I started this damn sex diet), but I have to say I’m not thrilled with the side effects of weight gain.

Of course, I wasn’t thrilled with being labeled pre-diabetic.

And I wasn’t happy to have elevated cholesterol.

And finding out that I had high blood pressure wasn’t fun either.

But I wasn’t convinced I needed to go on a fucking diet until my shoes stopped fitting me.

Yes.

You can fuck with my cholesterol. You can fuck with my dress size. But the minute you fuck with my shoe collection YOU ARE OUT!

Bummed out

Some sad news here.

First of all, I’ve been diagnosed as pre-diabetic.

Also, my blood pressure is intermittently high.

So there’s that.

Of course, instead of changing the medication I’m on which causes weight gain and all it’s lovely side effects, my doctors have opted to put me on a DIET.

I hate that word.

They’ve enrolled me in the most successful program they have – an 82 week MEAL REPLACEMENT plan.

Oh, don’t worry!

It’s not like I have to survive on shakes for 82 weeks.

No.

It’s only 4 FUCKING MONTHS OF MEAL REPLACEMENTS.

Then I get to start eating real food again.

Oy vey!

How am I going to do this?

Well, I’ll tell you one thing – I’m not going to try to do it over the holidays.

No.

That’s like setting myself up for failure.

I start on January 8th – the day my abstinence comes to a close.

Wouldn’t you know it?

Go off one diet, start another!

The other sad news I have is that I’ve been passed over for a promotion in my department.

I’m rather bummed because I felt that the position was PERFECT for me and would provide me with new challenges and opportunities to excel in my work.

Sadly, that is not the case.

So needless to say with all this bad news, I’m a little sad.

Bummed out, so to speak.

If you’re inclined, send a kind thought my way.

I could sure use them!

Being me

I just had a very difficult conversation.

A new friend saw THIS picture of me, taken about 7 years ago:

Of course, as you all know, THIS is what I look like now:

Yes, there have been some changes. No, I’m not thrilled about all of them.

Nevertheless, I think I’m a pretty lovely human being and sexy in my own right.

So it was hard to hear someone say, “The images that you showed me – from a few years back – you looked dramatically different.”

Gulp.

Oh dear.

“Did you have a major health issue?” he asked.

The answer, of course, is YES.

I did have a health crisis which is over now.

But the medications I’m on to manage my illness themselves cause health problems.

It’s a double edged sword.

I suppose I could feel bad about the conversation.

In the end, I opted to take it at face value, a friend telling another friend that he was in her corner when it comes to being healthy.

The truth is, what I look like is the LEAST of what makes me beautiful.

So whether I’m a size 14 or a size 24, I’ll always feel happy with who I am.

Chew something!

I am on a diet.

I need to be on a diet because I’m on medication that causes weight gain.

Frowny face.

My weight wouldn’t be a problem if only I’d exercise more.

But I’m basically a lazy woman who hates to sweat.

I also hate it when I’m out of breath.

And my heart rate soars to 180+ when I work out WHICH I CAN’T SUSTAIN.

I blame my mother for my food issues.

She told me that as an infant she had to stuff the bottle in my face right after she shoveled food in it or I’d scream.

I can totally see this behavior in me as an adult – shoveling in food followed by a big swig of booze.

Not healthy.

Not a good habit to develop.

Needless to say, I’ve given up drinking as much as I used to in the past.

And for this my liver THANKS ME!

It’s been two days and I’ve lost 4 pounds.

Which isn’t THAT big a deal because basically I can SNEEZE and lose 4 pounds.

But it’s progress in the right direction.

So wish me luck and cross your fingers hoping I’ll be successful on this liquid milkshake diet I’m on.

Lord knows how much I’m craving to CHEW SOMETHING!

 

P.S. I totally cheated last night when I licked a serving spoon full of peanut butter clean. . .