The first five

I’ve lost 5 pounds.

Normally, I wouldn’t blog about that but I’m trying to celebrate my milestones.

Five pounds.

Not too much to lose in 3 weeks, but just enough to encourage me to keep going.

How have I done it, you ask?

Eating healthy and exercise.

There’s no magic pill.

The first thing I did was stop drinking so much booze.

I allow myself one or two cocktails a week now, instead of one or two cocktails a day.

What a HUGE difference that makes.

I’ve also started eating more fruits and vegetables and have cut out most of the processed foods I used to eat.

I eat healthy snacks during the day, never letting myself get too hungry.

I’m still not great at drinking water instead of Diet Coke, but this is a work in progress so I’m not kicking myself in the ass for cracking open a cold Coke and downing it.

Oh, the other thing – I weight myself daily.

And I journal my food.

Basically, I’m doing all the stuff that’s supposed to be intuitive to losing weight but somehow is a huge challenge to overcome.

I’m not going to lie.

It’s not easy.

I miss being able to eat whatever I feel like.

But I know it’s time for change.

If for no other reason than I want to do a Spartan Race.

And I’m not in shape to do a Spartan Race right now.

So my reward for getting in shape?

A Spartan Race!

Fall down 7 times, get up 8

I’m almost ashamed to admit it but once again, I am working on losing weight.

Yes, I’ve tried before.

Yes, I’ve failed.

Many times, actually.

But you know what they say. . .

Fall down 7 times, get up 8.

So I’m getting up again and getting ready to work on it.

Again.

It’s made worse, of course, by the fact that my failures are so spectacularly catalogued by this website.

But I figure if I can admit to having a crush on a man I nicknamed “Coke Can Dan” then I can admit to something as personal as weight loss struggles.

This time around I’m trying Noom, a sort of guided weight loss program that sends me little reminders on my iPhone.

It also hooks me up with a counselor and a group of people trying to lose weight, just like me.

So far it hasn’t irritated the hell out of me, which is a good sign.

I’ve had a few realizations during the 5+ days I’ve been using the Noom app:

  1. I’m going to have to exercise.
  2. I’m going to need a pedometer to track my walking.
  3. I’m going to have to give up booze.

I’m already trying to stack the shelves in my cupboard with healthy alternative to carb-heavy foods like lasagna and cheese bread.

Cottage cheese, fresh fruit, hard boiled eggs, and grilled chicken.

I’ve also purchased meal prep containers so that I can spend a few hours packing my breakfasts and lunches for the week on Sunday evening and not have to think about food the rest of the time.

There’s no guarantee that I’ll be successful this time around, but I do feel like I’m becoming sensitive to the alternative (not making any changes to my diet and exercise routine) and I DON’T LIKE IT.

My long term goal, which might be a little aggressive, is to lose 20 pounds by November 21st.

My short term goal, which may be a little to easy, is to go for a walk tonight before the sun sets.

Hopefully I will achieve both.

Here’s my “BEFORE” photo (photo by Glow Girl taken at Burning Man, August 2018):

Fat

Rumor has it that a certain burner blogger has lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks.

Just so you know, that’s this much fat:

The other day a coworker told me that I looked like I’d lost weight.

She said she could see it in my face and my chest.

Oh dear.

My chest.

It’s going to shrink, isn’t it?

No more voluptuous breasts.

Sigh.

I will miss putting them on display.

Looking at 10 pounds of fat, I am struck by the thought that I literally have NO IDEA that much fat was in my body.

And then I think to myself that I have 90 – 120 more pounds to lose and I am dumbfounded.

Where is it all?

Besides my boobs, of course!

Here’s what 100 pounds of fat looks like!

Oh, ugh!

That looks like a entire PERSON!

And in a way, I guess it is.

Still, as much as I want to lose weight, I still want to keep some of my curviness.

I know I could always BUY a pair of buxom breasts, but I’d so much prefer to keep my real ones!

Please?

Size 6?

It’s hard to plan for Burning Man not knowing what size I’m going to be.

My best guess is I will be at least 3 sizes smaller than I am now.

That’s about 30 – 45 pounds.

7 months, 3 sizes.

That sounds about right.

So I’m buying clothes a little smaller than I normally would and HOPING that I fit in them when the burn comes around.

There are however, some items I REALLY want to buy but can’t because they only sell them in teeny tiny sizes and I just can’t even fathom myself being small enough to fit into them.

Nevertheless, I’m posting them here, in case I wake up one day to discover that I’m a size 6 and can wear whatever the hell I want.

A girl can wish, eh?

New Body

I’m celebrating.

Just a little bit.

In two weeks, I’ve lost 10 pounds.

I’d call that a successful diet.

And the weight loss is well deserved, since I’ve given up chewing, flavor, and booze.

Last week I was a little miffed that I only lost 2.2 pounds.

Then again, I did eat a grilled cheese sandwich and cream of artichoke/green chili soup.

This week I cheated by sipping two gin and tonics while eating some roast beef and spinach dip on a slice of sourdough bread.

Bad Michelle!

Despite the 10 pound weight loss, I don’t really see a difference in my body.

My guess is that I will need to lose 20 pounds before I start seeing a difference.

We can start with the double chin and move on to the tummy.

But PLEASE, leave the boobs alone!

I still have a LONG WAY to go.

Like 90 – 120 more pounds.

It hardly seems possible that I could lose that much weight.

That’s like an ENTIRE person’s worth of weight!

My friend, The Photographer, has been really supportive of my weight loss.

At a time when I feel undesirable and frumpy, he has reminded me that I am a sexy, beautiful woman.

So I’m just going to hold on to that as I try to squeeze my feet into shoes that don’t fit and shave parts of my body which are hidden from view.

Cross your fingers and say a prayer that the weight keeps coming off.

I’m really excited to reveal a new body!

Grilled cheese and gin and tonics

Now that I’m stepping on the scale a few times a week, I’m feeling very sheepish.

Like HOW IN THE WORLD DID THAT HAPPEN?!

One minute I was frolicking nude in my backyard, to devil with the neighbors, and the next minute I could barely stand to see myself naked.

Oh yeah, I know.

Curves.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.

But when did I get so CURVY?

You know when your kids are 16 and 18 you can no longer use the pregnancy weight excuse.

So I guess it’s all the grilled cheese sandwiches and gin and tonics I consumed.

I’m still plugging along on my diet.

In two weeks I’ve lost 6 pounds.

Which is an accomplishment, but is also frustrating me.

Like can’t this go ANY FASTER?

I’ve got bikinis to wear, and bodysuits to rave in, and lingerie to pose in, and photos to take!

And I just want to get to my destination AS FAST AS FUCKING POSSIBLE.

I suppose since it took me 10 years to get here I should have a little patience.

Working hard for something makes you value it ALL THE MORE.

And it will certainly deter me from ever eating an excess of grilled cheese sandwiches and gin and tonics.

Right?

Time for some weight loss

Now that I’ve started this diet (more on that later), I’ve been thinking that I need to find a way to commemorate my body, as it is right now, pre-weight loss.

I mean sure, I took boudoir photos 3 years ago, but that was also 50 pounds ago.

The extremist in me thinks I need to post a bikini picture, but the realist in me is aware that is going JUST A BIT TOO FAR.

Plus, it’s probably something only I need to see, not the general internet masses.

So there will be no bikini pics.

Then, I thought perhaps I should post my weight.

You know, for accountability’s sake?

But that assumes that I’m not HORRIFIED by how much I weigh.

Honestly, I haven’t admitted my weight to a SINGLE SOUL.

Not even my MOTHER!

My driver’s license still says I weigh 160.

Such a lie!

I’m not sure how the DMV employees can put that on my driver’s license with a STRAIGHT FACE!

In the end, I think I’ve settled on posting a VIRTUAL model of my proposed weight loss via Model My Diet.

You input your current weight and dimensions and your weight loss goal (in my case a 130 pound difference) and it spits out a side-by-side comparison.

Pretty eye opening, isn’t it?

Definitely time for some weight loss, eh?