Worried

Sorry for the lack of posts recently.

Literally NOTHING has been going on so there’s been nothing to write about.

No parties.

No costumes.

No dates.

Just a whole lot of sitting at home and watching old episodes of The Blacklist and No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain.

I must admit, I liked No Reservations more before Tony died.

Now it just reminds me of a brilliant life cut short by suicide.

And speaking of brilliant lives cut short, the deaths of Naya Rivera from Glee and Kelly Preston have saddened me.

It feels like the world has gone a little lopsided and I miss the good old days before death was the news du jour.

Now you know why I haven’t been blogging.

I’m a little depressed lately.

There’s been little to cheer me up.

And why write and infect others with my pessimism and fear?

I’ll tell you what frightens me the most.

The idea of opening up schools BEFORE there’s a cure or a vaccine for Covid-19.

I DESPERATELY need a project to work on so I’m not left ruminating on all the things I’m worried about right now.

The only good news coming out of all this is that my family is well (so far).

We are all getting along (so far).

And pretty soon we will get to celebrate Duncan’s 21st birthday.

I’m holding on to the little things to cheer myself up.

It’s not perfect, but it’s something.

Up in flames

As soon as I stepped outside the house, it hit me.

The overwhelming scent of fire.

One thing was clear: Something had burned during the night.

I drove to work and was walking to my building when I got a text from Barbara.

“Hope your family in Santa Rosa is safe.”

What?

Was there a shooter? An earthquake? What happened?

I immediately called Barbara back.

“There’s fires in Santa Rosa,” she told me. “It’s bad.”

I immediately got on the phone and tried to reach my birth mom.

In my haste, I inadvertently walked into a crosswalk that was closed due to construction, incurring the wrath of a very tall, beet faced man.

He was waving his arms at me wildly.

I stepped out of the crosswalk but he continued to make wild gestures at me.

Sigh.

So this is how the day is going to go.

First, the fires, and now an angry construction worker.

I burst into tears.

Boudoir panic sets in

Sitting in a hotel bar off Market Street where my photoshoot is taking place, drinking some liquid courage (aka a 9 oz gin martini), I suddenly started to panic…

It just hit me – all this prep:

  • The hair
  • The makeup
  • The airbrush tan
  • The full body hair removal
  • The hours of scouring the internet doing research

It all boiled down to this.  And my photographer was going to make or break this experience for me…

More to come….