Sliding naked down a hot slide

I struggle with my blog posts quite a bit.

Should I write truthfully, changing names to protect people’s identity?

Or should I only write a version of the truth, putting a spin on things so that no one gets cross at me?

It’s a tough tightrope to walk.

On the one hand, I want to capture events as close to reality as possible.

On the other hand, sometimes people don’t behave as well as they should as the results are. . . well. . . entertaining.

The other day I wrote a password protected post.

In it, I described being intimate with an [ahem] well-endowed man with very little foreplay.

You can imagine the results.

I cross my legs just thinking about it.

What I left out was that I probably instigated the sex prematurely when I handed my partner a bottle of lube.

Not for sex, but for lubrication.

I was damp from the hot tub and he was dry.

Touching him was like trying to slide naked down a hot slide.

It was sticky so I grabbed lube!

I left out other key details as well.

So although I didn’t lie, the truth wasn’t captured completely, and the blog post made my date sound like a real jerk when the reality was he really was only trying to make me happy.

Who’s the jerk now?

In any case, I’ve decided that since I will continue to blog, I need to be as accurate as possible.

But I also anticipate that I will get in trouble again.

People just want to censor you when you mention them.

Par for the course in blogging.

Honestly, writers should come with a warning:

But also?

This:

Truth

I’m reminded once again of how important it is to tell the truth.

And how easy it is to bend it.

I told a story, loosely based on an experience I had and although I told some of the truth, I left out key details that altered the tone of the story.

Big mistake!

Always tell the truth.

I will acknowledge that sometimes the truth is hard.

But didn’t Hemingway say, “Write hard and clear about what hurts”?

Well, I didn’t and it’s come back to bite me in the ass.

I’ve discovered I’m terrible at withholding information.

Information that changes the nature of my interactions.

I’m not clear whether it’s because I have a fear of confrontation or because I just don’t feel empowered to be open and honest.

Either way, I’m sitting here thinking about truth and honesty and how dangerous it is to skirt the slippery slope of non-fiction writing.

And although we’re almost halfway through this year, I’ve resolved to spend less time blogging what isn’t 100% true and more time blogging what is.

And of course, being more vocal about my own thoughts and feelings, in situ.

Because withheld information ALWAYS has a way of coming to the surface and it’s better to deliver the truth yourself than through a password-protected blog post.

Censorship

Oh, don’t worry.

I haven’t been censored in a week.

The last time I was censored, Tejas asked me to edit my post about losing my pants at SoulFire so that he didn’t sounds quite so. . . so. . .

Inebriated.

But hello, I did EMPHASIZE that the cocktail I gave him at SoulFire was the same as slipping him a Mickey.

I try to point this out at every opportunity I get.

I “dosed” my friend.

I do have something to say about censorship, however.

People I know.

Liberal-minded, forward-thinking, educated individuals have censored me.

Once, a woman came up to me at the burn and said, “I prefer if you don’t blog about me.”

To which I wanted to respond, “Then don’t do anything INTERESTING!” only to realize that that was redundant.

And now, here I am, blogging about her.

I will say this, however.

There are people, lifestyles, events, and activities that I participate in or have friends who participate in which sort of defy explanation and get lost in translation.

If you ask me if my work knows that I go to Burning Man, the answer is “No.”

And that’s just an annual artistic community experiment in the desert.

What if there were other activities, outside the mainstream?

It has dawned on me, very slowly, that in spite of this blog, I do need to protect the identities and interests of some of my friends who trust me and continue to invite me to participate in their events.

So not everything goes in the blog.

I censor myself.

Blogging

write2-copyIt’s funny.

At least *I* think it’s funny.

You see, I’m a blogger so everything I experience is an opportunity to write something about it:

  • Kissing ex boyfriends in RVs at SoulFire.
  • Taking a dip in the hot tubs with men of questionable repute.
  • Peeing my pants in a onesie costume because I couldn’t get it off in time.

It’s all fodder for the blog. Even the stuff that makes me look like a nut case.

Sometimes I wonder how my friends and family REALLY feel about this blog.

Oh, of course to my face they like it and encourage me to write.

But really, deep down, how do they feel about being WRITTEN ABOUT and READING THE INTIMATE DETAILS OF MY LIFE.

There’s a saying among us writers:

If a writer falls in love with you, you never die.

write1There’s another saying though and it goes something like this:

Don’t piss off a writer. We’ll DESCRIBE you.

IMG_9378

I just want to publicly thank all my friends and family who put up with me and this tacky blog – whether I’ve given you a nickname or not.

Every time I write about my friends and family, I do it with love and respect and of course a HUGE dose of courage that they’ll be okay with what I write.

Thanks to them for putting up with me.

It takes a good sense of humor.

Am I a writer?

Am I a writer?

That’s a good question.

I certainly sit at the computer and type words into sentences on the screen.

But does that make me a writer?

I have a friend who is a published poet.

She writes amazing things that make me catch my breath and pause a moment in awareness that she has struck some significant sympathetic chord in me.

What do I write?

Blurbs about my life, dating, and the adventures that my life brings to me.

Occasionally, I SHOUT.

I’ve never really thought of myself as a writer.

Except that I am.

There’s more truth on the pages of unblunder than there is in the pages of an encyclopedia.

And occasionally there’s more depth – as evidenced by me admitting to experimenting with fringe sexual practices and chronicling my (mis) adventures, especially in dating.

Someday I may write a book.

But right now, I’m going to focus on this blog which is a guilty pleasure for many.

I’m trying to make sense of this world and my place in it.

Heaven knows I don’t have all the answers.

Do you?

hemingway

When you blog

write2-copyIt’s funny.

At least *I* think it’s funny.

You see, I’m a blogger so everything I experience is an opportunity to write something about it:

  • Kissing ex boyfriends in RVs at SoulFire.
  • Taking a dip in the hot tubs with men of questionable repute.
  • Peeing my pants in a onesie costume because I couldn’t get it off in time.
  • Puking down the side of Krunch’s car post-party.

It’s all fodder for the blog. Even the stuff that makes me look like a nut case.

Sometimes I wonder how my friends and family REALLY feel about this blog.

Oh, of course to my face they like it and encourage me to write.

But really, deep down, how do they feel about being WRITTEN ABOUT and READING THE INTIMATE DETAILS OF MY LIFE.

There’s a saying among us writers:

If a writer falls in love with you, you never die.

write1There’s another saying though and it goes something like this:

Don’t piss off a writer. We’ll DESCRIBE you.

IMG_9378Truthfully, I don’t get mad very often so there’s infrequent roasting of people on my blog.

[Sorry, mom. Don’t read this part.]

The last good roast was The Israeli who liked facials but got it in my eye and all over my hair thereby pissing me off.

I had SPECIFICALLY TOLD HIM NOT TO GET IT IN MY HAIR!

Turns out, there are some sexual activities I don’t like.

And some Israelis.

But ENOUGH about him.

I just want to publically thank all my friends and family who put up with me and this tacky blog – whether I’ve given you a nickname or not.

Every time I write about my friends and family, I do it with love and respect and of course a HUGE dose of courage that they’ll be okay with what I write.

Thanks to them for putting up with me.

It takes a huge amount of humor.

Save

Save

It’s hard to date a blogger

It’s hard to date a blogger.

ESPECIALLY one as transparent as I am.

EVERYTHING goes on the internet:

You will usually find me blogging about whatever is on my mind from the men who capture my fancy, like Nathan and Krunch; to past lovers who I remember fondly, like Jay and Charlie The Aussie; to men I fantasize about but can never have, like Alexander Skarsgård and Joe Manganiello.

IMG_9379I’d like to think I’m more of a lover than a hater. Unfortunately, the hate tends to be funnier than the love, like when The Hunk had an epic skill/equipment failure in bed with me.

IMG_9378I’ve been advised that the reason I’m single is because of this blog.

That might be true but I can’t help but feel like deep down, my blog will actually draw in the right man for me.

Imagine how nice it’d be to have all your experiences and secrets in one place where a person can read about them.

My thoughts. My hopes. My frustrations.

If a man can get through my blog posts AND STILL be interested in me, then he passed the test.

And the thing is, PLENTY of men like this blog and read it.

So there’s hope.

There’s a reason this blog is called unblunder…

Because everything seems wrong at first until it suddenly turns beautifully, epically RIGHT!

Burning Man meets Vitruvian Man

Last year, I commissioned a handmade journal from Misty over at malistah on etsy.

I wanted something special to chronicle my Burning Man experiences in.

Sadly, my journal was filled not with wonderous stories of adventures and fun but of heartache, loss, and solitude.

journal4 journal3
journal2 journal1

 So I’m ditching that journal this year and I’ve commissioned Misty to make another one.

I simply LOVE her handmade journals, and while they’re not inexpensive, they are works of art, worthy of capturing and memorializing the stories of Burning Man.

So for 2016 what does one create with da Vinci as a theme?

Steampunk, of course.

Turns out there’s not so many Steampunk type da Vinci fabrics out there for the book cover.

Except this Vitruvian Man in bright pants.

canvasPerfect! I said.

It’s like Burning Man meets Vitruvian Man!

At first Misty was hesitant about the colors, which she referred to as psychedelic.   But I assured her that I would be adorned quite psychedelically myself.

So we have a cover fabric and a theme – psychedelic Steampunk!

I know it sounds odd but I think it’s going to turn out spectacular!

Just like Burning Man 2016.

When a journal is more than a journal

It’s not well know that before I write, I compose all my blog posts in a book.  There is something about the writing process, about seeing those wonderful words form on a blank page that unleashes my creativity.  When my work is finished in longhand, that’s when I transfer it to the computer.  It’s the least satisfying part of the process.

My writing is just better when I write by hand.  I accept this.

So I have a bit of an obsession with journals.  Since Burning Man is coming up, I figured I’d commission a whole new journal for my experiences there.  And that’s when I found Misty.

Misty makes custom journals and THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL!  They’re one-of-a-kind and not the kind of thing you throw away.

journal1

I told her Absinthe Fairy, Rainbow Jumpsuit, and Black PVC Domme and her creativity was sparked.  I told her greens and golds and iridescence and she began to plan out a 50-page journal for me.

Just look how beautiful and colorful they are:

journal2 journal3 journal4

So if you imagine me at Burning Man, imagine me sitting in the shade, with a hydration pack on my back, dust on my boots, and sweat on my forehead with an incredibly creative and beautiful journal in my hands, madly scrambling to write down what I’m experiencing at Burning Man so I can capture it and take a little bit home with me to share with all of you 🙂

Cheers!

Milestones!

This was a momentous week for me. I finally hit 200 followers on WordPress (not including my Facebook readers) AND I got 1,000 likes.

You can’t imagine how rewarding it is to reach milestones like these.

Combined with my Lovely Blog nomination, I’m feeling like I’m doing something right on my blog.

Writing a blog is a little like having a second job. Instead of having free time, I’m scouring the internet for new blog topics or scanning my brain for ideas.

All the creativity comes from me and I have to say I’d be so disappointed if I didn’t have anyone reading my blog.

Consider that a few short weeks ago I was ready to turn in the towel and lay unblunder to rest.

It was nice to see all the support that came from my post “Am I a Neanderthal?”. That’s when my self-doubts came to a head.

I like to think of myself as a writer. In reality I’m a writer who donates her work to the internet (via my blog) and to charities (via my work with non-profits). Every time I see my name in the byline I get a little shiver.

I’ve been told to write about what you know, which is why I write about my life and all the shenanigans that ensue.

I hope you’re as entertained by reading my posts as I am by writing my posts.

So thank you for the adds and for all the likes. And thank you for reading

This blogger is one happy lady!