Sneaking around naked

I’ve got 10 events in 10 days at work so I’m reposting some old content I find funny.  New content will resume on February 6th.

Reposted from 2017:

 

This may or may not have happened at Mercey Hot Springs:

After imbibing MANY gin and tonics with FRESH lime juice, an entire bottle of champagne, AND a few glasses of red wine, two women decided to sneak off to the “CLOTHING OPTIONAL” soaking tubs to take a dip in the hot water.

The hot tubs are empty and have to be filled with hot water for each user.

The hot tubs are also crawling with black beetles that have to be flushed down the drain BEFORE you can use the tubs.

So the women rinsed out their hot tubs, got rid of all the beetles, and filled their tubs with water.

Then they carefully removed their clothing, placed everything on a nearby chair, and stepped into their hot tubs to soak.

The water was hot and enveloping.

The night breeze was warm and relaxing.

One of them turned off their Coleman lantern so that they could see the lights from the stars.

As soon as the light went off, the women were cloaked in darkness.

The light from distant starts started to appear before them.

It was the Milky Way, almost close enough to touch.

So beautiful

So striking.

Before long, the women were joined by two other couples, who each snuck into their own tubs to watch the star show.

And then, one of the women started snoring.

She was sleeping in her hot tub.

Her friend, realizing it was time to take her back to the tent, rustled her awake.

“Time to go to the tent.”

In order to not put on a peep show to the light of a Coleman lantern, the women opted to wrap their towels around themselves and sneak back to their tent, hopefully avoiding staff.

The woman who was awake had a yellow towel and she wrapped it tightly around her body.

The sleepy woman did not do very well wrapping up her nudity. She was losing her towel right and left, so much that the other woman had to turn off the lantern lest they be seen in the light.

They carefully made their way, giggling loudly, in the dark to the campsite.

Home sweet home!

It’s Burning Man

Burning Man is fast approaching.

This year I’m staying in Tejas’ RV, just like last year.

But this year there’s a TWIST.

Yvonne (Tejas’ ex-girlfriend) is coming with us.

O. M. G.

I know, I know.

It sound CRAZY but let me tell you, the two of them actually get along quite well and I think that it’ll all work out just fine.

We’re bringing Pete, my 10’ x 14’ tent just in case someone (Yvonne) needs private space.

It’s a lot to ask three people to share the same 180 square feet of space for A WEEK.

It’s certainly going to be an adventure.

Given the history between Tejas and Yvonne, I have to ask myself, am I prepared if they decide to couple up for Burning Man?

The answer is YES!

First of all, I adore them as a couple.

I love them both.

Second of all, I’m really comfortable being the third wheel.

Seeing as how ALL MY FRIENDS are coupled up, I frequently am the “third wheel” so it’s no big deal for me.

What are we going to do about privacy?

Give it to each other, as much as we can.

Of course, it is Burning Man.

There’s a certain amount of nudity that’s PAR FOR THE COURSE.

I anticipate that we’ll all see each other naked, in one way or another.

Tejas needs help getting into his kilts.

I need help getting into my corsets.

And I fully intend to wear the SKIMPIEST LITTLE NIGHTGOWNS TO BED TO BEAT THE HEAT.

Lord only knows what Yvonne’s going to do but if history repeats itself, she’ll have trouble keeping her clothes on.

What the hell. . .

. . .it’s BURNING MAN!

#ThatAss

Any discussion of the Suicide Girls’ Blackheart Burlesque show has got to start with this phrase – HOLY EFFING SHIT!

Because, quite honestly, from start to finish you were blasted with the beauty, sensuality, athleticism, and artistry of the young performers.

I took Yvonne to the show as a birthday present and periodically throughout the performance, we’d look at each other and say, “HOLY EFFING SHIT!”

It was that amazing.

Imagine if burlesque dancing was more than just a strip tease to slow throbbing music.

What if burlesque dancing was clever?

What if burlesque dancing incorporated pop culture?

What if burlesque dancing made a statement?

Imagine stormtroopers stripping with Boba Fett.

Imagine big green feathered pot leaves fanning nearly nude bodies to the tune of “Habits (Stay High)” by Tove Lo.

Or perhaps you can envision the creepy bunny rabbit from Donnie Darko stripping down to naught but a g-string, bunny tail, and pasties while “Mad World” blasts over the sound system.

Well imagine no more.

The Blackheart Burlesque crew INVITED us to take pictures and post them with the hashtag #BlackheartBurlesque and #ThatAss.

So that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Enjoy.

 

 

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Sad Face

As it turns out, The Swede will not be visiting California in June.

Yes, I got the news today and was really disappointed.

But I had a feeling it was not going to work out.

Murphy’s Law.

I bought tickets to the burlesque show hoping he’d be here THERBY jinxing his visit.

C’est la vie.

I’m sure he’ll get over here again so all is not lost, but for the time being, NO VISIT.

What do I do with the two tickets I have to the Blackheart Burlesque show in Santa Cruz?

Why I take Yvonne, of course.

Tejas’ ex-girlfriend and I have struck up a friendship.

So I’m taking her to the show.

I can’t wait to watch the Suicide Girls prance about in their costumes, putting on a show for the audience.

It’ll be amazing.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to take pictures so I can blog about it (and send pics to The Swede so he can live vicariously).

Still, I’m sad I won’t be seeing The Swede anytime soon.

Sad face.

Sneaking around naked

This may or may not have happened at Mercey Hot Springs:

After imbibing MANY gin and tonics with FRESH lime juice, an entire bottle of champagne, AND a few glasses of red wine, two women decided to sneak off to the “CLOTHING OPTIONAL” soaking tubs to take a dip in the hot water.

The hot tubs are empty and have to be filled with hot water for each user.

The hot tubs are also crawling with black beetles that have to be flushed down the drain BEFORE you can use the tubs.

So the women rinsed out their hot tubs, got rid of all the beetles, and filled their tubs with water.

Then they carefully removed their clothing, placed everything on a nearby chair, and stepped into their hot tubs to soak.

The water was hot and enveloping.

The night breeze was warm and relaxing.

One of them turned off their Coleman lantern so that they could see the lights from the stars.

As soon as the light went off, the women were cloaked in darkness.

The light from distant starts started to appear before them.

It was the Milky Way, almost close enough to touch.

So beautiful

So striking.

Before long, the women were joined by two other couples, who each snuck into their own tubs to watch the star show.

And then, one of the women started snoring.

She was sleeping in her hot tub.

Her friend, realizing it was time to take her back to the tent, rustled her awake.

“Time to go to the tent.”

In order to not put on a peep show to the light of a Coleman lantern, the women opted to wrap their towels around themselves and sneak back to their tent, hopefully avoiding staff.

The woman who was awake had a yellow towel and she wrapped it tightly around her body.

The sleepy woman did not do very well wrapping up her nudity. She was losing her towel right and left, so much that the other woman had to turn off the lantern lest they be seen in the light.

They carefully made their way, giggling loudly, in the dark to the campsite.

Home sweet home!

Get off?

Yvonne’s has been planning a party for months to celebrate the life of her husband who passed away a year ago.

Since I am an event planner, I helped her with some of the details.

I made a very detailed production plan for her I was quite proud of.

The party was this past weekend.

Consider all these elements coming together: camping all weekend long, a motorcycle ride, a DJ, a dance floor, an authentic shawarma machine, a fire pit, a photo booth, luxury restrooms, a potluck buffet dinner, an after party, and so much more.

It was a HUGE undertaking and came off without a hitch.

Well, except for the get off.

Which doesn’t mean what you think it means.

Apparently in motorcycle riding lingo, a get off is when a motorcycle and its rider part company due to instability, impending accident, or a sudden maneuver.

It was frightening to hear about even though we were all assured the rider was okay.

So there was A LITTLE drama, but not much.

The speeches were beautiful.

The dancing was fun.

And the company was outstanding.

And just because I took photos in the photobooth with Tejas and Yvonne, I’m going to post them here and say: LOVE YOU BOTH!

Look who’s going to Burning Man!

The Burning Man Main Sale came.

And went.

And so many of my friends didn’t get tickets.  Which makes it ever so important that those of us with DGS tickets share the wealth.

I have offered my ticket to Yvonne, Tejas’ girlfriend.

Mainly because Tejas didn’t offer his spare and I think it’s more important to secure her a ticket to go to Burning Man than it is to hope and pray that I’ll meet a guy who will:

  • Want to go to Burning Man
  • Can take off 7+ days from work for Burning Man, and
  • Won’t dump me WHILE AT BURNING MAN

But what are the chances of that happening AGAIN?

[Unlikely, I hope!]

In any case, I’m happy for Yvonne.  Now she knows that she has a ticket she can relax and just enjoy planning and packing ALL THE THINGS!

I was ever so lucky my first year, landing a ticket in the Main Sale, when I knew nobody who would sell me their spare ticket.

I have no idea how I did it, but it has forever changed the course of my life.

This will be both Yvonne and my third burn.

And I can’t imagine her not being there!

Woot!

Look who’s going to Burning Man!

 

Friends at Burning Man

My first year at Burning Man was a solitary experience.

For the most part, I felt like I was struggling to do things with anyone but myself.

Oh sure, I got to do a few things with friends – like see the Man with Dante, spend an evening getting altered with two good friends, and touring the deep playa with Tejas, but overall, I was alone.

It’s not my favorite thing in the world. Given the fact that I live with 4 other people, I am by nature a very social creature.

My second year at Burning Man went better.

I hung with Marina, Tejas, and sometimes Marina AND Tejas, which if you know them you know is an accomplishment.

Oil and water.

It was a MUCH better year for me, activity-wise.

We made scarves, tried on clothes at the clothing exchange, rode out to the trash fence, saw INCREDIBLE art, and took saunas.

Here I am, staring at Year 3 at Burning Man and I realized one thing.

I trust my friend Tejas completely.

I trust him that if we go out on the playa together, unless I explicitly ask to be left alone, he will stay with me until we’re both ready to leave.

No need to worry about getting left behind.

Or being alone again.

And of course, this year Yvonne is going with Tejas.

Another magical soul I trust completely.

And I can’t help but think how lucky I am to have them as friends to go to the playa with.

Burning Man just keeps getting better.

THANKFUL

MichelleAt noon on March 1st I logged in to my Burner Profile and purchased a vehicle pass and two DGS tickets for Burning Man 2017: Radical Ritual.

DGS tickets are tickets set aside for purchase by theme camp participants so that they can attend and offer their interactivity to attendees.

It took me less than two minutes to procure my tickets.

It was a seamless, smooth process.

I couldn’t help but be reminded of the first year I bought tickets, in 2015.

I just decided I wanted to go and that Burning Man would be my BIG ADVENTURE for 2015.

In case you’re wondering, my BIG ADVENTURE of 2014 was a boudoir photo shoot so this was considerably more involved.

Somehow I got lucky and managed to get a ticket in the 2015 sale.

I remember sitting there at my desk at work in 2015, staring at the receipt, a little in awe, thinking, “Now what?!”

And I must say, I had no idea then that I was purchasing a ticket to something that was going to change the direction of my life FOREVER.

I’ve made friends, joined a community, and created experiences that I NEVER would have without Burning Man.

It has been an EPIC transformation for me.

Looking back now, I wonder how different my life would be had I not bought that ticket way back in 2015.

I wouldn’t know my BFF Tejas or his girlfriend Yvonne.

I wouldn’t be open to new experiences.

And I sure would’ve missed out on a whole lot of art!

No, life wouldn’t be the same.

I think the most valuable gain for me has been the Burning Man community.

Open. Creative. Humorous. Talented. Reliable.

Two years ago I was just dipping my toe in that community.

Here I am today fully immersed in it.

I didn’t realize that until just now, how much Burning Man has altered my life for the better.

And I am ever so THANKFUL!

RADICAL RITUAL

MichelleThe theme for Burning Man 2017 is RADICAL RITUAL.

I’m at a loss for how to express this.

My idea of conducting a ritual is to smudge my room, my tent, and the Motor Beast. Occasionally, it means having “fancy tea.”

And on RARE occasions, I light a candle, drink a bottle of wine, and weep as I talk to my beloved departed friends: Andrew and Austin.

I’m not quite sure how I’m going to incorporate this theme into my burn this year.

For sure there will be a smudging of the Motor Beast.

And I imagine I’ll get together with Tejas’ lady love Yvonne to ask her if she wants to build some rituals around our trip:

  • Ritual massages (Heebee Jeebees),
  • Ritual bathing (Dr. Brommer’s Foam Bath),
  • Ritual dancing to music (anywhere on playa),
  • and ritual tarot cards (Yvonne and Tejas are learning).

I’m sure I’m just not thinking creatively enough.

After all, you can build rituals into just about any activity you want.

So maybe I’ll come up with a “Land me a man” ritual.

It would be incredible to fall in love with someone at Burning Man.

It would involve building an altar with things I find important about a significant other: generosity, kindness, love of the outdoors, and a big heart.

We’ll just add that if he looks like a lumberjack, the happier I’ll be.

Tattoos too.

Ok, I digress.

So I’m gonna spend some time developing some rituals surrounding my next burn.

Here’s hoping it’s even better than 2016!

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